[DAVE, spoken]:

Oh my god...John...

The baby...is a baby...is a baby...

[JOHN, spoken]:

Dave, you're losing your water break. We can't go to the hospital now!

[DAVE, spoken]:

You're right, there's no time. 

We must go to Mount Prospit, where I myself was born. 

[JOHN, spoken]:

You were born in a lab, Dave, and I'm your lab daddy. 

[DAVE, spoken]:

Just shut up, Dad, 'cause you're my baby now. 

And you're the one that's gonna have man titties in your face...

[JOHN, spoken]:

What?

[DAVE, spoken]:

Man titties in your face!

[JOHN, spoken]:

No, no, gross...

[DAVE, spoken]:

Man titties in your faaace...

[JOHN, spoken]:

Dave, put your fucking shirt on!

[DAVE, spoken]:

Man titties...

[JOHN, spoken]:

I'm not even born yet, that's not fair!

[DAVE, spoken]:

Oh my god. 

Someone needs to deliver this baby...RIGHT NOW. 

[KARKAT, spoken]:

I can do that. 

[JOHN, spoken]:

Karkat, what the fuck are you doing?

[KARKAT, spoken]:

Delivering babies...I did it once. I can do it again. 

[JOHN, spoken]:

Leave it up to me, Karkat. 

[KARKAT, spoken]:

No. No, I can't, you're...a baby. 

I must do this, I must be the...midwife. 

John, there are some things you can't know. 

[JOHN, spoken]:

Like what?

[DAVE, spoken]:

Please just reach inside me. 

[KARKAT, spoken]:

Let's sing a fucking song. 

(sung)

Once upon a time

On top of a mountain

A baby was sitting in a water fountain

His name was Dave and he was supreme

His booties were covered in peaches and cream

That story, today, is totally...irrelevant...

I'm a troll

And John

I wanna fuck you out of hate

I wanna fuck you out of hate 'cause I'm Karkat

(spoken)

MMmmMMMMmmmm!

[DAVE, spoken]:

Oh my god, please stop this singing shit. 

I have to have this baby now! Ah!

[KARKAT, spoken]:

MMmmMMMMmmmm! Mmmmm...