[Verse]

If you're a younger fan then I suggest you skip this track

I've danced around the subject but I've never been this blunt in rap

I'm kind of scared of sharing but it's something that I need to make

A tale of my trauma and a tale of my mistakes

When it all started I was at a party been touched by a man that I didn't know

I was a kid and then nobody liked me so I was surprised after every stroke

Didn't resist and then after I felt kinda nice it was fine

I was like

"This is easy I don't need a woman I might just continue and give this a go"

So next I'm online and I'm strolling through Craigslist

I was too young so I lied 'bout my age it's

Clеar I was desperate was fuеled by self hatred

Next I was trading these photos I'm naked

Next thing I'm talking in ways that I shouldn't be

They say that they want to meet up and then I agree

Thought I was smart at the peak of maturity

Fuck was I not I was stupid, I couldn't see

I entered his house it was okay

Just gonna touch and then go away

I take off my clothes and he's locking the door and I'm starting to panic, like no way

The force of his grab pushed me back as he slammed down my body

I couldn't leave

I couldn't leave, his weight there on top of me

Head in the bed so I couldn't scream

I couldn't scream

Blinded by pain I remember the blood and I couldn't see

I couldn't see

The feeling of fear as it's driving inside and I couldn't breath

I couldn't breath, I couldn't breath

Thought I was dead, Fuck, I couldn't leave

The moment is carved in my memory

And so there wasn't a day where it wouldn't bleed

Felt like it went on for centuries

Ripped me apart so incessantly

A monster devoid of all empathy

But when he finished, exhausted he fell asleep

He locked every exit but one little window I think that he maybe forgot

I kept on thinking that I could've died if he didn't leave that one unlocked

I was in shock

I didn't want to tell anyone, I was embarrassed and lost

I was a child

Fuck, I was a child

What else could I possibly done?

I couldn't run, I couldn't sleep

It kept invading my dreams

It was a living hell

Blocked out my sense of smell

So I could have just a moment of peace

Crippled by PTSD

I could be triggered by so many things

But the internet made being triggered a meme

Kept it inside, I just wanted to scream

Tortured my mind and it just wouldn't leave

Fucked up my school, fucked up my life

Fucked me right up, I would not go outside

Found myself wishing I could just be normal

I'm breaking down crying in bed every night

Bed every night, bed every night

Found myself crying in bed every night

I was a child

Fuck, I was a child

I was so scared that I wouldn't survive

Wouldn't survive, wouldn't survive

Stood in the tracks I was ready to die

Ready to let it all end

I was done being tortured by this kind of life