EA Rap - Intellectual

PES only manages to get in the hundreds of thousands each year, while FIFA effortlessly bursts into the millions. Just think about it: how many big-name PES Youtubers do you see?
Exactly.

With the statement that “time is money”, JJ presumably makes more money working with EA Sports in one hour than a regular 9-to-5 worker gets in a span of several months. No wonder he’s so bigheaded.

JJ making complaints about the paltry supply of game content that PES has compared to FIFA, being unable to afford a fraction of what EA puts into their FIFA installments yearly. Then there’s also stuff like this…

JJ seems quite upset that people actually enjoy such meager servings when they could be having so much more with his company’s games.

Starting with FIFA 14, EA has upgraded the series into the next generation, supplying games for the Xbox One and PS4 consoles.

FIFA games are always huge sellers for EA year after year, selling in the millions units each and every time. This is especially due to the publicity that each gets due to the previous one, and the sheer amount of consoles each one comes out on (they’re still making it for the PS2).

This is a reference to will.i.am’s 2013 album, #willpower. The album also has a song titled “#thatPOWER.”

A backhanded shot fired at Pro Evolution Soccer, or PES, a soccer game series made by Konami that is basically a FIFA clone created to desperately dangle onto the coattails of the EA series' gargantuan popularity.

JJ is stating that people who don’t like FIFA ought to just go and play PES.

It is a common belief among FIFA players that EA has purposefully programmed the game to make it easier when the player is losing, and to make it harder when the player is winning. This is often manifested in the seemingly unfair lengths of added time at the end of a match—or at half-time—or that this time is not adhered to, in the sense that many teams score last-minute goals when the half should have been over. The adjustment of the difficulty would lead to players paying more money for packs in the game. EA were sued for these alleged practices, but the plaintiffs later withdrew their case.

This won’t be the first instance something like this has happened; the scouter of Dragon Ball character Vegeta has famously reported a power level of over 9000 on one occasion.

A bellend is the slang term for the “glans penis”, which is the head of your member. JJ uses the term often as a derogatory insult.

EA is quite notorious for having an unhealthy addiction to sapping as much money as possible from their consumers, and FIFA is no exception to this. The Ultimate Team mode in the game runs on packs that must be bought with coins/FIFA Points, which can be acquired with money through various coin sponsor websites. Their seeming desire for money has somewhat become synonymous with their brand.

A rather off-color reference to Kagemasa Kōzuki, who founded the Konami company that makes PES. Imagine this guy getting brutally attacked by a bear, let alone one who is unable to poop.

By now, the fact that EA’s servers are less than subpar is universally known, considering the millions of people who are infuriated by the servers' poor ability to be connectable for online play. It’s practically become a notorious meme.

JJ rebuts this by stating that, apparently, the servers that PES offers are even worse.