Goodbye - Intellectual

Please give me strength for another day

I’m tired, I want to go to sleep

And wake up and have her back in my arms and hold her close to me

I know everything is planned and it’s exactly how it’s supposed to be

But damn, life is so hard

I just can’t walk the path you chose for me

Oh Lord, why won’t she come back?

I’m destined to be alone I think

Oh Lord, what did I do wrong?

I’m sorry, so here I’m on my knees

I went to church and broke the bread, and in that wine I would drink

And there I cried, as I prayed for a sign she was not the one for me

And that’s when suddenly I realized I was going way too far

I wound up in the bathroom with a razor down my fucking arm

Came back in the nick of time just mumbling to myself like "Are you willing to die for a girl that barely knows who you are?"

I’d rather die than keep fighting

And they can wonder why. (It hurts me)

I’d rather take my own life than be alone and alive. (I’ve missed you)

I’m telling her goodbye

I’m saying my goodbyes. (I’m done)

I’m telling her goodbye

I’m saying my goodbyes

I’m telling her goodbye

I’m saying my goodbyes

You never looked out for my best interests

You made me fall in love, like how selfish

You knew I’d be stuck after our first kiss

Happiness?

Fuck, you cost me this

You caused me so much pain

Hurt me every time you took that risk

So yes, I cut you

I cut you all the way across the wrist

And I’m caught pretending, and imagining in my head that I cut so deep that I fucking hit a tendon

You still can’t admit it was your fault

You haven’t learned your lesson

You can’t even look me in the eyes, and damn it, I’m your own reflection

Look me in the eyes, James

Tell me you caused this pain

I want to hear you confess to me; admit it dang

You’re the reason she left us

I’m telling her goodbye

I’m saying my goodbyes

I’m telling her goodbye

I’m saying my goodbyes

I’m telling her goodbye

I’m saying my goodbyes

I’m telling her goodbye

I’m saying my goodbyes

Today I barely made it through

They say I have to follow through

How the fuck do people live life?

I have to do this tomorrow too?

I have to get out of bed to do shit I don’t wanna do?

Every single fucking day then act all happy while I do it?

I give up Lord

I give my life to you

Suicide is my last resort, an option I don’t wanna use

Lately I feel suffocated

So restless and irritated

I hate it, I can not take it

I thought there'd be more to life

I can’t be destined for this life

Sitting in the bathroom with doors locked while I hold a knife

So tell me there’s more to life

Tell me I’m not destined for this life

Tell me my story has a happy ending

And my future is mostly bright

Right now, the only light at the end of the tunnel I’m seeing is the car headlights on the road at night

Day dreaming I’m seeing a truck coming my way, and I take the steering wheel and pull it right

I’m telling her goodbye

I’m saying my goodbyes

I’m telling her goodbye

I’m saying my goodbyes

I’m telling her goodbye

I’m saying my goodbyes

I’m telling her goodbye

I’m saying my goodbyes

I wouldn’t commit suicide

But why am I okay with dying?

All of these tearms I’m crying

Seems like they’re never drying

So lost, I don’t know who I am anymore

I’m trying to find him

He even goes by a different name: Karacter

He says rapping helps us both in crazy ways he can’t explain

Yes I complain but I’m still praying

Faith is strong and I’m not swaying

God, I just wish things were a little easier, that’s all I’m saying

I just wish you were beside me when it gets hard, to cheer me on

Some days I feel so strong

But by the weekend, I’m weakened

C’mon, I’m speaking "It’s tough keeping on."

I’m tired. Is it wrong to want to rest?

Is it bad to want to grab the phone?

Now that I feel I’ve done my best, I’ve left a message at the tone

Is it wrong when you feel alone to say "God please call me home."

I’d rather die than keep fighting

And they can wonder why. (It’s so hard)

I’d rather take my own life than be alone and alive. (I loved you)

I’m telling her goodbye

I’m saying my goodbyes. (I give up)

I’m telling her goodbye

I’m saying my goodbyes

I’m telling her goodbye

I’m saying my goodbyes

Everyday when I get up, I’m stuck

Cause I feel mislead

Today was harder than the night I prayed before I went to bed

Today was harder

Maybe it’s cause I saw her

I thought if I found my true love, I’d make my great escape

I thought if I only found her, she could save me from this blade

But she’s got me on the ledge, pushing me over the edge

My whole life I was going to give her

Now, I’m jumping off this bridge

They’ll find my body in the river

You might be asking if it got better

But if it got better, you wouldn’t be reading this letter

How it started, I don’t remember

And I don’t know why

How did I end the letter?

Simple

I said goodbye