[Intro]

Yo

No matter how many people said it's not my fault

I'm guilty

For all the voices

All the thoughts

All my choices

[Chorus]

God I know you had punished me for what I've done

It's my lessons, it's my lessons

And I'm so grateful to be here with every one

Count my blessings, count my blessings

Of all these things I've asked you everyday

They're my questions, they're my questions

Please forgive me and here's what I have to say

My confessions, my confessions

[Verse 1]

Hey dad remember me? James, your son

It's been so long I can no longer recall what your face looks like

Man that takes what like four years, and nope not a day goes by that I'm not counting

Wow

Must a thought about you a hundred thousands

Times in this year alone

But it's those memories that I look back on

None of those happy moments captured by a camera

I tried to find a photo of you and there's no album

Just scrapped pictures of the family where my mom had cut you out them

Honest, I want nothing more than my kids to have there grand father, and there dad, and there mamma, a perfect family

I won't let happen to them what had happened to me

I'm nervous

But It's important to know I didn't do this on purpose

I was born in to a broken home

Didn't even know marriage was supposed to work with

Two people until I went to my friends home and no one was cursing

Then suddenly something that was broke tuned even worse

And I could see each flaw in the family perfect

Now when something you have is broken in half you try to fix it as best as you can

But sometimes your just too young to understand

For example

When I was younger people asked me what I wanted to be

I'd tell em

"I don't know, I just want to go play right now so leave me alone"

But now that I've grown

If anybody asked Id tell em

"I want to be a dad as good as my own"

So maybe my kids can know the things that I know

But all that I know is there's nothing I feel I could say or do

Fuck if it's been four years last may or June

Time never will heal this wound

I just need to hear your voice one more time, and to tell the truth

I never meant to leave with out saying good bye

And how selfish was I man

I didn't even realize that that would be the last time I saw him smiling

The last time I heard one of his corny jokes

Mean while I'm hanging out with my friend Caden playing dead island on his Xbox

Spending my last few days waiting out the clock

Checking my wrist watch, just waiting to go home

Didn't want to see my father cause I was so pissed off

I thought he was lying so fuck it

Wasted my last day with him packing my luggage

So I could lug it to the air port and move to Costa Rica

Should've never had to leave ya

But gee

This is what we got

And I'm scared to come back, cause one day I'll be on your door step and I'll knock

I fear that when you open up you'll hesitate you'll just stop, then push me away

Slam the door in my face and then lock it

But God

[Chorus]

God I know you had punished me for what I've done

It's my lessons, it's my lessons

And I'm so grateful to be here with every one

Count my blessings, count my blessings

Of all these things I've asked you everyday

They're my questions, they're my questions

Please forgive me and here's what I have to say

My confessions, my confessions

[Verse 2]

Cause I've said some things

And done some things I can never take back

That's just the way life is they say

"you live and you learn from those mistakes man"

But what if for just a second you dropped the act

And cut the crap?

This ain't no bad relation ship damn it

Shit, we're talking about my dad

And I'm confessing to all the thoughts I had

Talking back, and talking bad behind your back

I'm so mother stalking sorry dad

A stuck up kid

I don't even know what the fuck you did

To deserve that attitude

I take it back

But there's no one that can ever put it back but you

Has to be you

And as of the truth

Two weeks after I moved I wasn't even mad at you, but there wasn't anything I could gosh damn do

But people tell me they don't know how a father could go without seeing their child

Mean while I'm acting all innocent shrugging my shoulders for em

"yeah, I don't how"

Talk like I got thrown out of the house, when I ran away

In fact he was at work when he founded this out

And after all the tantrums

More shit I caused him and then some

At one point I actually told him I didn't love him no more

That's messed up coming from his own son

Guess that split us up and put a chasm between us

And no matter how hard we tried it had always happened between us

Which is why after all this time I can't imagine you're grieving, waiting to receive a phone call

Why can't I believe you would do this?

Maybe I gotta see to believe in this situation

But I wouldn't hesitate to take the next plane out

If you accept me back as your son

I can appreciate more than a moon

And the world undoubtedly, knows I want to shout, and pout

"sorry for walking out"

Haha

Typically in the father and son situation it's the other way around

But I ain't proud of running

Running my mouth

Hopping on a plane before you got to say good bye

But I wonder why you never wondered why

Why didn't you try to call, did your cell phone fucking die?

Papa, I wouldn't blame you if you never thought to try

After the way that I may have acted

But answer me this;

How many birthdays have I missed?

How many father days have I missed?

Still wonder why'd I walk away from all this

To go from heaven and bliss to blades to your wrists metaphorically it's as basic shit get's

When that depression and boredom wave hits

Your on the floor in eight million bits

Wait a minute

I'm to weak to get up

My legs are feeble, as I walk to the booth to confess to evil

Even with Jesus in my mind, I still feel heavens a needle away so beat up

All these people with their eagle eyes on me to critique my speech and my procedures

Cause they think what I've done

Is simply just a personal demon

But here I'm on my knees, beneath your angels asking forgiveness in this cathedral

[Chorus]

God I know you had punished me for what I've done

It's my lessons, it's my lessons

And I'm so grateful to be here with every one

Count my blessings, count my blessings

Of all these things I've asked you everyday

They're my questions, they're my questions

Please forgive me and here's what I have to say

My confessions, my confessions

[Outro]

So help me

Please tell me what I've done doesn't make me a bad person