Inside a gate that no one can trespass

And I don't think anyone could get that

I just want some true love yeah I miss that

But everyone just wants to play tricks man

And i don't feel any gain or satisfaction

Cus nothing anymore worth the reaction

I tell myself I've moved on from past actions

But I wish I could bring myself back then

I'm spending life like an NPC

It's not a joke I feel it's literally

And all these thoughts feel like it's bittersweet

And you know what I'm bout to turn 19

And i'm still thinking bout who I might be

I feel prevented from society

And that darkness is always biting me

Even tho they act so kind to me

You gotta wonder why they're so blind to see

At least another drop, do they lie to me?

And I really just want my own privacy

It's not like anyone tells me "how's your day?"

Try to cleanse my mind going on a walk

So I decide to go another few blocks

But when your only hope tells you to stop

You gotta wonder what is right or not :(

And every day I just want to be free roam

Pack myself in styrofoam

I want to explore the world and wonder where it goes

Staring at a globe

Wanna feel comfortable

In my own home but I'm always alone

And no!

I don't wanna tell you where the fuck I go because it's been too long

I've been trapped in songs cus it's my only form of communication

Celebration goes on near my friends

And I can't be with them cus the fucking distance

It's on the wishlist to never feel like

Everything's just all forbidden

But I guess i'm protected from the bullshit

People don't relate but they clueless

I just wish my life had a blueprint

But it's my fucking life i can't choose it