Why did God put Evil in the world, God damn it?

Was it just an accident, or did he plan it?

Well, the fact is that God made the world to entertain himself

And to keep things interesting, he took a little Evil off the shelf

But to do God's work, evil's got to be set free

To fight Boredom, the true enemy

Boredom is the true enemy

With all the bad things put away

Life's just a boring little play

And Boredom is the true enemy

What made Eve and Adam fall so fast?

A snake in the grass? No. Boredom

What made Pontius Pilate shrug and wash his hands?

Clerical demands? No. Boredom

What made Mohammed Atta wanna visit New York City?

American foreign policy?

No, same reason as anybody: Boredom is the true enemy

Boredom is the true enemy

Now before you start to answer

Remember: it takes more lives than cancer

Boredom is the true enemy

What makes the local teenagers so vile?

The latest music style? No. Boredom

What makes the Vancouver Police beat up the harmless protester?

Are they products of incest, or...?

Well, yes. But that's caused by Boredom

What makes genocide flare up with such tedious frequency?

Some kind of evil flea? People, honestly

Boredom is the true enemy

Boredom is the true enemy

So it's really not that nice

To want to wipe out every vice

When boredom is the true enemy

Songs about cars and angels and the rain

Must be disdained. They are the enemy

A thousand books chock full of Chicken Soup

For the Souls of the stupid enemy

Stories and plays that come with a Happy Ever After guarantee

Now that's a goddamn tragedy

When Boredom is the true enemy

Boredom is the true enemy

So join me in consensus, you're either with us or against us

Boredom is the true, go ahead and sue

But applaud when I am through

Because Boredom is the true enemy!