Casket - Intellectual

When I’m traveling the world and enjoying myself at an old age I’d get depressed because I wasted my time instead of following my dreams and traveling the world when I was young, but cared about money and safety more, so I’d jump off a bridge to kill myself

Even though I’m having such a good time as a spirit I can still see how I’ve affected the people in my life. Especially my mom. I don’t want to think about it anymore.

I’m describing what things look like in the afterlife. Also referring to the classic theory that heaven is somewhere in the clouds.

This line refers to the life I used to live. I was a rebel and caused trouble but, since I was still a child I didn’t do much beyond lighting off the fireworks that I kept in my school backpack. This also eludes to the other rebels out there who are paying homage to me.

I think a lot about my death. Will I have lived a long life? Will my life be what I want it to be? What will be carved in my casket? Will the way my casket looks reflect the life I lived directly? Do people think about these things often? These were questions in my head when I wrote this line. This line was actually the first line to the song originally. These questions build up the concept of the song in a very broad way, however to bring it down to more simple terms I just wonder what my casket will look like when I’m in it.

Most adults in the “grown up world” work jobs Where they clock in at 8 a.m. and clock out at 5 p.m. with an hour lunch break. A typical eight hour shift. They do this five days a week and that makes 40 hours of work in one week, or full-time.

In most cases, males who work nine to fives wear a suit and tie and carry a briefcase full of paperwork or some other boring crap. It’s like the normal thing to do in businesses in big cities like New York or Chicago. There’s not a lot of personality in suit and ties. It’s just another way to blend in with millions of others. I can’t do that crap.

If my life were like this…

This is actually a comparison to being born. Since most people are born head first, are we also buried head first?
Of course most people are lowered in the ground and have a tombstone above their grave

but what if my feet were facing my tombstone instead instead of my head? I wonder if that will be uncomfortable. Will I be able to actually Rest In Peace? Maybe I won’t feel it because I’m dead. Who knows?

It’s most likely that all of these things led to my suicide. I also explore the concept of how our souls float above our loved ones after we die.

“Oh Romeo, Romeo, brave Mercutio is dead! His brave spirit has floated up to heaven, but it was too early for him to leave life on earth.”
- Benvolio, Romeo & Juliet

Now that I’m dead I don’t have anymore worries. I can travel wherever I want without being bothered by anyone. Things are much simpler now and I’m even happy.

Again with the questions! I ask a random question. In this question I use the plural form of hearse, which is weird because in a funeral you only need one hearse.

Maybe I’m so important that there are more than one hearse for my casket at the funeral. Or maybe hearses rhymed better with the previous lines.

With all this time on my hands and no one to stop me I decide to simply experience things and feel, ironically, alive.

After rising to power from working a nine to five my whole life, I’d retire and pack my clothes and belongings and go on one last vacation, or just retirement.

I’m saying that I’ll be rich because I’ve rose to power on my job that I hate. But I’ve theoretically become like this C.E.O. with a ton of money that can afford a mansion and a huge lot surrounding it. People would mistake my house and property as a school campus because it’s so big.

Then I’d travel the world in this:

A caravan is a huge van that’s equipped for living in. People use if for vacations or retirements usually.
This is when I would go around the world and see and do all the things I never got the chance to do when I was young and had dreams. I’d live in a caravan and just do things I wish I did before I spent all my time working, so I could rise to power at a job I never really liked.

My mom is wearing black at my funeral and even though it’s a sad day she still looks beautiful.

I wonder what if I actually followed my dreams of being a musical artist instead of working a nine to five.
I also wonder if I’ll fail at my dreams, because I know that not everyone who goes after their dreams see them come true.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/legacy

Being a famous artist usually comes with a lot of money, and with money you can buy a lot of materialistic things.

By the time I’m dead what will I have left behind in my will? Will I have materialistic things? Why or why not? What will I have gained or lost by the time I’m dead.

I’m conflicted guys. I have two last names. Curtis and Beard. I got the last name “Curtis” from birth. It’s from my biological father who was a dead beat dad.

I got my second last name, “Beard”, from my current dad today. I have no respect for my biological father seeing as he walked out on my mom and six kids so I don’t want his last name to be apart of my last name.

However at the same time I feel like “Curtis-Beard” is a unique name and people are starting to remember me as Charlie Curtis-Beard rather than Charlie Beard. Everywhere on social media and my music you’ll see “Charlie Curtis-Beard.”

“Curtis-Beard” has become apart of me and who I am today, but I don’t like it because of where it came from.

https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/results?search_query=charlie+curtis-beard

Nurses and some Doctors are usually responsible for keeping people alive when they go to the hospital.
So if that fall put me in the hospital and I died would you blame my nurses rather than blame me for actually following my dreams, because I was still a nobody when I died?

Casket was one of the last songs recorded on the mixtape and also took the longest time to record. Quinten (Quizzy) was on vacation when Rachel Vermillion and I recorded our parts and so the song was incomplete for a while. Originally Rachel wasn’t supposed to be in the song. It was just me and Quizzy rapping back and forth for a while, but I knew I had to have Rachel on my mixtape from the first moment she opened her mouth to sing. I was super blown away with Rachel’s voice and Quizzy refused to sing the Hook.

I’ve been thinking about if my dreams are really worth dying for…

This follows the previous line “what if I followed my dreams and I failed”

I’ve gone from emotionally failing at my dreams to physically failing and falling face first.

Saying failed, fell, face, and first, I’m using a literary tool called alliteration

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/alliteration

Dusk and Dawn is sunset and sunrise. So the sun rises and sets on the horizon. The horizon is where the Earth and the sky meet. So I’ll be six feet lower than the horizon, or the ground, where the sun rises and the sun sets.

It’s a fancy, complicated way to say that I’ll be buried six feet in the Earth.

I wonder who killed me !

In the video games, Mario, is always collecting gold coins in his travels.

My suicide takes place in my bed after I take a bunch of pills. Being in between life and death I can now see myself dying. Since My bed is the last place I’ll be conscious, I see it as my final resting place so it’s fitting that there are flowers there.

There aren’t a lot of tears at my funeral. I tend to vocalize when I’m sad or when something troubles me and I tend to talk about how it seems life has no point so people aren’t confused about why I committed suicide there confused about why I did it today.

Being a human is hard. Thinking about the purpose of life overwhelms me to the point where I feel like I might die from simply existing. I also say this line as a way of giving an answer to the people who ask “why today?”.

When I ask “Who am I?” I really am just wondering who I will be when I die. I wonder if I’ll be the same person I am today or so different I can’t even recognize myself emotionally or physically.

1.) I wonder what I will end up doing if I do end up like my biological father and can’t find happiness.

2.) I wonder what I will end up doing if I fail at my dreams, seeing as I don’t see myself doing anything but music.

1.)If my dreams never came true, or I spent my whole life fantasizing rather than making those fantasies a reality, I wonder if I’ll still be able to think about those said dreams. Or if I’ll be to hurt to think about the dreams I used to have.

2.)After a while people tend to give up on their dreams. If my dreams were nothing more than me dreaming would I still dream about them or give up?

Giving another theory to the question “why today?” I sneak in my stance on religion and how maybe Jesus was so overwhelmed with my problems that he has to disregard me altogether.

When I was 12 I moved to Jos, Nigeria during a period of time where some muslims and christians in the city were having a war. Some nights I would hear gun shots and even got robbed at gun point in my own home one night. I also had friends who packed heat for protection.

Everyone brings the most beautiful flowers to my funeral but, as I look around, I don’t see anyone who I considered to be my friends. Giving the word “bud” a double meaning I talk about the flower “buds” at my funeral and my “buds”, as in buddies, that I don’t see at my funeral.

This line is a reference to the popular song “what does the fox say”. It got crazy attention and died out like a month later. I’m trying to explain peoples fixation with the now and how we overlook death and the past.

https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/watch?v=jofNR_WkoCE

I love music and it seems fitting that the last thing I do before I die is write a verse to a song.

I dread the death of kings because I don’t want to be ruled in the afterlife. I dread the death of dreams because of the nightmares that might disturb my death. I had enough while alive. I don’t want anymore.

If I continued to work a nine to five every week of every year for several decades, and gained confidence and rose to the top in this said business I’m in…

I want people to listen to my music and talk about me after I die. Kind of like some dead rappers are still talked about today

I want this even though I know that my music isn’t good enough for people to continue to listen to after I die, nor am I good enough to be remembered after I die.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centrepiece

A center piece is something you usually put in the middle of a dinner table to make the dinner look more appealing or the table look more pretty. People will gather and eat around this important object.

I then ask what would my centerpiece be? I know that I’ll be the only one or thing in my casket when I die and I’ll be lying right in the middle so by default I’ll be the centerpiece.

Asking “Would it be me?” is more of a rhetorical question since I know I’ll be the centerpiece of my casket. Since I am a centerpiece, will people gather around me? Will I be important? Will I make my casket look more appealing or pretty?

This sets the tone for the first verse telling you it is from the view point of someone between life and death.

I wonder if I’ll end up like my biological father who left my mom with six kids and no money. Since he is my biological father I wonder if I’ll end up doing the same things he did, to another woman.

The reason I capitalized “Will” is because my biological father’s name is William which is long for Will.

Now that everything is sweeter in death, I’m wondering if I didn’t just take sugar pills. I just wanted a taste of the sweet life.

http://www.investopedia.com/terms/p/pensionplan.asp
I’d retire after I turn 65, which is the age where most people retire.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rigor_mortis

So after I die and I’ll be all stiff from rigor mortis, I’m saying that I’ll feel trapped in my body.

What if I’m someone I don’t want to be? Like what if I die as an accountant? Since I don’t want to be an accountant I figure I’d have a lot of regret and a lot of bad memories from my life.

So I think about me being trapped in a body of someone I don’t want to be thinking about all the regrets and bad decisions in my life.