[PROLOGUS, spoken]

Playgoers, I bid you welcome

The theatre is a temple

And we are here to worship the gods of comedy and tragedy

Tonight, I am pleased to announce a comedy

We shall employ every device we know in our desire to divert you

[PROLOGUS]

Something familiar

Something peculiar

Something for everyone—a comedy tonight!

Something appealing

Something appalling

Something for everyone—a comedy tonight!

Nothing with kings

Nothing with crowns

Bring on the lovers, liars and clowns

Old situations

New complications

Nothing portentous or polite

Tragedy tomorrow

Comedy tonight!

Something convulsive

Something repulsive

Something for everyone

[PROLOGUS & PROTEANS]

A comedy tonight!

[PROLOGUS]

Something esthetic

[PROTEANS]

Something frenetic

[PROLOGUS]

Something for everyone

[PROLOGUS & PROTEANS]

A comedy tonight!

[PROTEANS]

Nothing with gods

Nothing with fate

[PROLOGUS]

Weighty affairs will just have to wait

[PROTEANS]

Nothing that's formal

[PROLOGUS]

Nothing that's normal

[PROTEANS]

No recitations to recite!

Open up the curtain—

Comedy tonight!

[PROLOGUS]

Something erratic

Something dramatic

Something for everyone—a comedy tonight!

Frenzy and frolic

Strictly symbolic

Something for everyone—a comedy tonight!

[PROLOGUS, spoken]

And now, the entire company!

[COMPANY]

Something familiar

Something peculiar

Something for everybody—comedy tonight!

Something that's gaudy

Something that's bawdy

Something for everybody—comedy tonight!

[SENEX]

Nothing that's grim

[DOMINA]

Nothing that's Greek

[PROLOGOUS]

She plays Medea later this week

[COMPANY]

Stunning surprises!

Cunning disguises!

Hundreds of actors out of sight!!

Pantaloons and tunics

Courtesans and eunuchs

Funerals and chases

Baritones and basses

Panderers

Philanderers

Cupidity

Timidity

Mistakes

Fakes

Rhymes

Mimes

Tumblers

Grumblers

Bumblers

Fumblers

No royal curse

No Trojan horse

And a happy ending, of course!

Goodness and badness

Man in his madness

This time it all turns out all right—

Tragedy tomorrow

Comedy tonight!

[COMPANY, spoken]

One, two, three!