Convicted - Intellectual

Oh oh oh, yea yea

You know it’s Zay Doe

Hold up

You know it’s Zay Doe

Uh, uh, yea

[Chorus]

Oh Father

I need for you to come & take my hand

See you the man

And I need you to be in demand

Of my life

But see I really can’t waste no more time

No I’m not behind bars

I’m convicted in my mind

Just let me know

Let me know what I gotta do

I feel myself slipping away while also losing you

My soul bruised

I got mental screws coming loose

You been tryna save me but I been tryna save you

[Verse 1]

I lost

I lost myself a long time ago

Nowhere to go

Roaming fast on a lonely road

A road

That led me to some things I’d never seen

Objects never thought in dreams

And feelings I newly perceived

No way

I felt it was no way to make it out

A different route would only take me to a different house

House of nothingness

And frustration would soon take over me and everything going on that I just hoped would cease

Tried to get a job

Get shit in order

Still feeling down south like a route to Florida

Cause all my inhibitions stemming from long term insecurities got me in a drought for water

All my seeds dropped low in soil

But nothing can grow when the sky is spoiled

If my life is a garden then darling bargain for no plants royal

Don’t you stop loving me

Please don’t stop loving me

I’m tryna figure my way out

Don’t you stop loving me

Please don’t stop loving me

I’m tryna see what God’s about

[Chorus]

Oh Father

I need for you to come & take my hand

See you the man

And I need you to be in demand

Of my life

But see I really can’t waste no more time

No I’m not behind bars

I’m convicted in my mind

Just let me know

Let me know what I gotta do

I feel myself slipping away while also losing you

My soul bruised

I got mental screws coming loose

You been tryna save me but I been tryna save you

[Verse 2]

I’m skilled in niggatry

These white folks they been sick of me

I cop the flyest fit

Can’t pay my rent

But dressing effortlessly

Don’t go to school

And fuck 12

But I’m gang banging

And my chain swinging like ancestors from trees hanging

Im tying my own noose now

So who else can I blame

Other than institutional racism

Don’t ya think?

We gentrified in inner cities

Causing homicides

It ain’t like they care until a cop killing a black guy

Then we bring it up & they throw it back in our face

That we only the one’s willing to kill our own race

But where you think we learn it from?

Self-hatred ain’t something we just picked up once slavery was gone

It’s something that’s haunting us

Sticking up for my race is something that I just live for

And I won’t let anyone tell me that it isn’t right

But honestly I find it strange the people I defend tonight

Have called me weird & said I’m acting white because I’m talking right my entire life

[Outro]

So much more to me honestly

I don’t think you see

So much more to me honestly

I don’t think you see

I been hurting & on your parade, I ain’t tryna rain

What’s causing you most joy is bringing me the pain

Convicted in my mind

Still not ahead of behind