I’m not myself here’s the cheats and liars

Breathing is slowed from the tranquilizers

They are the ones keeping me on schedule

Bring me back up to sea level

Eat me up let me atrophy

When I’m gone what a travesty

Accept my life here for what it is

And not what it should have been

Abiding it privately high as a kite to be

Blocking the thing that’s been crushing me silently

Now I’m self-righteously thrashing and fighting see

Nothing preventing me from seizing violently

I had gone through it I’m a credible source

Tell me what you want ‘fore I’m headed indoors

For the winter can’t afford to freeze again withdrawn

From the ones who would fake care claim it’s wrong

Where’s the texts and messages you sent

Made a mess I can’t infer intent

One or two be missing I’ll permit it

I just find it sus that they’re omitted

Move the goalpost cause I ain’t social

The prey that’s found I’m turning down proposals

Destination’s set I’m hellbound

Got a plan imma pass up all the sellouts

I’m not myself here’s the cheats and liars

Breathing is slowed from the tranquilizers

They are the ones keeping me on schedule

Bring me back up to sea level

Eat me up let me atrophy

When I’m gone what a travesty

Accept my life here for what it is

And not what it should have been

Lament and regret on the morning when I

Ain’t waking up again said my goodbyes

No need arranging a funeral

Still I’m refusing to work in a cubicle

You ain’t really living if you sitting in a chair

When the boss don’t show and the rest don’t care

Growing older chip on my shoulder

Heart on my sleeve and been so much colder

Now I got nobody left to live for

No I don’t count want a bit more

There I go self-sabotaging and injuring

What’s my aim let it add to the mystery

And it’s true these are the words that are retrospective

Catching the poison that’s most effective

Remind myself when I get pissed off

Nothing matters here the goal’s ain’t live long

Before I know well it’s 4 AM

What I said to you’s what I’ll say to them

And I’ve gotten a date with the coroner

And truly staying alive well it’s so torturous

I’m not myself here’s the cheats and liars

Breathing is slowed from the tranquilizers

They are the ones keeping me on schedule

Bring me back up to sea level

Eat me up let me atrophy

When I’m gone what a travesty

Accept my life here for what it is

And not what it should have been