I’m choking on my envy just put me down gently

Estranged and on the verge emotions starting to tempt me

This carcass made of spoils the spindles and coils

Inoculated antidotes were nothing but loyal

What’s it like with the grief and the realization

They tell me to wait but I’ve been real patient

The fact of the matter is I might not make it

My chance too slim and that’s why I don’t say shit

I don’t need placement if I’m on a list

Turn away the curation so-called journalist

Made the sessions don’t believe that I’ll be needing any therapist

In spite of their advice I’ve still been learning how to bear with it

Oh and for the record do prepare

All the omens I’ve been making treat em like a new despair

With the writing on the wall I laid a clue and where’d I mark it

The furnace outta service it’s too cold in this apartment

Still I’ve been deterred unproductive

Patterns alternated what’s familiar is disrupted

Passage of acts and that’s where we diverged

Took the capsule it swelled right before it submerged

I’m choking on my envy just put me down gently

Estranged and on the verge emotions starting to tempt me

This carcass made of spoils the spindles and coils

Inoculated antidotes were nothing but loyal

What’s it like with the loss and the chills how it aches

How we used to drive down to the edge of the lake

With the cascading current to carry the skepticism

Said the limited minutes you got you wanna spend it with em

Understandable had to go got to make it by the curfew

Wasn’t my intention to bring it up or to hurt you

I just wanna hear it cause you’ve been so apathetic

You say that you’re more susceptible and prone cause it’s genetic

Only child no one ever taught me how to share

Tell me how am I to learn when I got nobody there

Keep the bloodline intact put the burden onto me

But it’s the repetition grating working in monotony

Trapped been in a bubble in this extended period

You would ask what’s the cause well I say there’s a myriad

Wake up wanting to end it and I’m sleeping so terribly

You say that you got it easy well at least when compared to me

Trained to recognize distress and any signs of harm

Was given a head start before they sounded the alarm

And I will reap the consequences for the years to come

I turned a blind eye to the symptoms that were clear to some

I’m choking on my envy just put me down gently

Estranged and on the verge emotions starting to tempt me

This carcass made of spoils the spindles and coils

Inoculated antidotes were nothing but loyal