There's a song that’s coming up

For which I poorly planned

I look around the stage and I don’t see a fucking stand

With both hands occupied

Playing my keytar

I quickly scan the audience and AHA! There you are

Come be my mic stand

You can join me on the stage

Holding forth the magic stick that amplifies my rage

You're a mic stand

And I feel like such a jerk

You paid to see my concert

And I put your ass to work

Up there on the stage

Standing tall and proud

Arm outstretched to hold aloft

The thing that makes me loud

Your peers are usually tripods

Or have a metal base

But you're the only one I've met with two legs and a face

You're a mic stand

And you stand there while I shout

I'm sorry if I spit on you I hope it washes out

You're a mic stand

And I can't thank you enough

I wish I had more stage equipment that would buy my stuff

Okay…there’s supposed to be a keytar solo here but you’re just staring at me and you’re like RIGHT THERE and it’s making me kinda self-conscious. Can you, like, uh, look over that way for just a minute? Okay, thanks

*keytar solo*

You're a mic stand

Holding mics is what you do

Hey you've got another hand, man, can you hold my water too?

You're a mic stand

And I can't believe you're here

You paid to see my concert and I use you as my gear

You're a mic stand