"Is this you talking or the liquor? - I am the liquor!"

Pour a liquor never brewed

Down the barrel of my throat

Drop whiskey in an I.V

To help skip another day

To help defer my dreams

'Cause I don’t want to fight

I can't rage or kick and scream

Against the dying of the light

This weltered heart will lie

Six feet deep in thought tonight

With the last ones up past dark

Crossing eyes with the faint glow

In the top corner window

Of the tallest tower block

Away a street and a glass pane

But next to me in misery

At least 'til I check out of here

One finger on the trigger

And two up in the air

Break free from my chains

With an overdose

Or by checking out a train

Up real close

Until then

I sleepwalk my shifts

Walk home alone

Drink myself to sleep

Self pity and bleakly

Rinse and repeat

’Til i lose it again

Hit harder the liquor

And then i get sicker

Finish 2018

On clozapine

Benzodiazepines

And long daydreams

Alright

I'm riding shotgun through the night

Scream at the darkness in delight

The city's bright, my foot is light

Upon the pavestones

Among the gravestones

Soon your son's on the roof

Threatening to jump

Or bleeding before you

Begging don't call the cops

Until I'm back on the meds

Lying back in my bed

Someday I'll be dead

I'll give up the fight

And then I’ll drink again

But not tonight