[Verse 1]
I started as an altar boy workin' at the church
Learnin' all my holy moves, doing some research
Which led me to a cash box labeled "Children's Fund"
I'd leave the change and tucked the bills inside my cummerbund
[Verse 2]
I got a part-time job at my father's carpet store
Layin' tackless strippin' and housewives by the score
I loaded up their furniture and took it to Spokane
And auctioned off every last Naugahyde divan
[Verse 3]
I'm very well acquainted with the seven deadly sins
I keep a busy schedule tryin' to fit them in
I'm proud to be a glutton and I don't have time for sloth
I'm greedy and I'm angry and I don't care who I cross
[Chorus]
I'm Mr. Bad Example, intruder in the dirt
I like to have a good time and I don't care who gets hurt
I'm Mr. Bad Example, take a look at me
I'll live to be a hundred and go down in infamy
[Verse 4]
Of course, I went to law school and took a law degree
And counseled all my clients to plead insanity
Then worked in hair replacement swindling the bald
Where very few are chosen and fewer still are called
[Verse 5]
Then on to Monte Carlo to play chemin de fer
I threw away the fortune I made transplanting hair
I put my last few francs down on a prostitute
Who took me up to her room to perform the flag salute
[Verse 6]
Whereupon I stole her passport and her wig
And headed for the airport and the midnight flight, you dig?
Fourteen hours later I was down in Adelaide
Flippin' through the want ads sippin' Fosters in the shade
[Verse 7]
I opened up an agency somewhere down the line
To hire aboriginals to work the opal mines
But I attached their wages and took a whoppin' cut
And whisked away their workman's comp and pauperized the lot
[Chorus]
I'm Mr. Bad Example, intruder in the dirt
I like to have a good time and I don't care who gets hurt
I'm Mr. Bad Example, take a look at me
I'll live to be a hundred and go down in infamy
[Verse 8]
I bought a first-class ticket on Malaysian Air
And landed in Sri Lanka none the worse for wear
I'm thinkin' of retiring from all my dirty deals
I'll see you in the next life, wake me up for meals
[Outro]
I remember him
I remember her