Missing since the age of twelve

Wouldn't you say she’s adapted quite well?

We've had our differences and some disagreements at first

But it’s all worked out

She's a part of the family, as happy as can be

Of course, she had to make a few adjustments

Lose some useless weight to keep her from running

A little cosmetic surgery to keep her from hurting herself

Throw in some modern science to help hеr cope

First, I cut off her legs and arms

Pullеd out all of her teeth so she could do no harm

I gave her a colostomy bag to keep her tidy

To keep her from getting hungry, I gave her an I.V

Now, doesn’t she look precious strapped to my coffee table?

I must say, it’s very convenient when I'm watching porno