[Verse 1]

Ain't playin' in no tournaments

But I'm the most known player, no argument

Ha! Top paid, too, yabba-dabba-do

Dude going to jail for what he said

Man, FBI must want me dead

Now, watch, man, Machinima

Middle man, villain man

I'm comedian, they the laugh

Government try to take half

Fuck that shit, tax act

Took me a year to fly six hours

Atlanta International

Aerodrome Tower

Self-loathing in seatbelts

Security checks so detailed

Baggage claim, John McClaine

Died hard after Easter

Hung up on south-Asian ho

MSG and egg rolls

Dial tone busy, don't wanna know

Arrive in Texas for the massacre

All fucked up neurovascular

I'm forgotten: Mac OS Cheetah

Shit's scarier than Amnesia

Romance is a plot device

James Bond singing, North Korea

Only woman love me, mama mia

WOO!

[Verse 2]

Met some girl named Sandy

Modus operandi

Suck and lick, ride and trick

Spongebob squirrel bitch, suck my dick

Met some ho called Rena

Ace Ventura no brainer

Not the brightest, not the tightest

Won't let me tongue strap her ass at Midas

Fraudulent, abstinent

Vietnamese accent

Vanity

Centre of gravity

Palm oil panties

Squeaky voice insanity

This one's name is Jenny

Somebody give this ho an Emmy

Acting like she's too good

Friendship misunderstood

Girl thinks she's leading the flock

Bitch if you so hot why I block you?

Chelsea, Chelsea

Always with the jealousy

If you saw what I'd see

You'd see me watchin' your D's

Girl, you had a huge rack

Black girl booty, nothin' wrong with that

And she's singing Marvin Gaye

Rock the world, man, I'm here to stay

I thought I met a real lady

Not even close, baby

Bitch

[Fill]

(I called him a volisquare)

(OOOO I'm telling on you!)

(OOOh shit)

(Shit)

(He fucking typed it wrong)

[Verse 3]

Eh-heh-heh, now ladies done talkin' to me

Must be a has-been

I ain't even good at League

That's why I got to pick Shen

Put a hundred on (Too fed)

I'll take a hundred off

Eatin' nothin' but top lane

And drinkin' applesauce (Hit the sauce)

Sitting on my ass

Playing video games

Sucking down this juice (Hit the sauce)

Like I am Max Payne

Skyping with bitches from Britain

She's barren, I'm smitten

Hundred pound women

Fifty pound chest, sunfire cape

I am da bes, hoo!

Plenty in the trunk, took her for a test drive

Had to pay cash, I'd like to try a new model

This one's too fast

I think that they are women

I know that they are sluts

It's alright, bitch

I like your fuckin' butt (Hehe)

(Hehe, hehe, I got it!

Hehe!)