Cut the sprinkler

My yard is dying

The reservoir, you know

It is piss poor

Meet the beetles that ate my pine trees

My chainsaw is I know a tortured soul

Inanimate parameters

Domestic dilemma

It’s just a fashion crisis

I’m ugly

I feel like a friggin’ tool

There’s a hole in my backyard cyclone fence

Where my big bad lazy dog used to goad

I am wilted!

I am stilted!

I am stilted!

I am stilted!

I’ll go get the latest of the Ladies Home Journal

I need some of those sinister little recipes

My neighbors thеy are filling up the filing cabinets

And I’m hungry as a bunch of jumping flеas

I am wilted!

I am stilted!

I am stilted!

I am stilted!