NIHALLA

It's hard for me to admit what I did so casually

I regret what happened I caused a mad casuality

My mind was blank, actions committed absently

I hide in covers but understandably you’re mad at me

Father, I plead to turn back the hands of time

One slip up lost a great friend of mine

An angel from above she deserved the best

I went from worse to worst and for that she detests

Life moves so fast, one accident causing the scratch

But in retrospect our relationship lost in the aftermath

My thoughts are spinning fast milky way

If I ever see her again don’t know what to say

All my friends assure me

But I’m still cursing

Your absence is the worst thing

A completely disturbing burning

As time wears on the sensation wears off

You and I post-it a one-sided sticky tear off

Nothing I do will ever earn your respect

Forgiveness can't expect but I will never forget

What we had and how much I loved it

Rollback to when I J rolled and we hit

SEBAS

My mom cries

As we sit among the pews

Her prayer goes unreplied

For a kid she hardly knew

We all been through it

Suicide like déjà vu

Pull the trigger but there’s no undo

Who wants to live forever?

You’re numb to it when the 9 [mm] clicks

I’m feeling better medicated off guitar riffs

Misfits

Fucking with those kick drums and blap kits

Not in the lab?

Then I was chilling with the bad kids

So many high schoolers want to do it big

So many others wanna just fit in

It’s fucking silly

When you look like Macklemore

& wear jeans this skinny

Approval means everything really

But what about the girl who wasn’t sickly?

Or the boy who got abused at home?

“I guess it’s just a pity that they’ll die alone”

Fuck that

Been there, done that

Asking them “where the love at?”

& for some tough is the only love that they’ve ever known

And

So

I act irresponsibly

“you feeling fine?”

[I’d rather die]

But I reply

Quite possibly

It’s comedy

It’s all a joke

“I’m out” is the philosophy

I put it to my head when my mom starts calling me

...as we sit among the pews

“All rise”

For a kid they hardly knew

And I

Walk to the casket

Guess I needed some help

Get in and lay beside of myself

Stare at my mom

As they lower me into

An early grave I wish I could undo

I thought I wanted this

My last thought when I went to end my misery

“I just hope somebody misses me.”