16. Pain

I know nothing is forever.... but pain for me seems like it's eternal....

I've come to realize it's just never gonna leave

A little or a lot....in the end.... it's all I have

I battle the heavy with myself & the pain, it's insane

I fight ‘cause I gotta strive & help my rage

In my road of life, I hit the speed bumps so hard

Will there be eternal peace? It feels so far

Nobody can cure me but numb my pain

‘Cause when I'm speakin' music tonguеs it relieves thе brain

‘Cause I can't bear to reflect on the grisly images

& I truly love every 1 of my listeners

I'm trapped in a circle I can never re-shape

Ongoing switches onto me with love & hate

Pain has done more than touch my name

I fall to the floor knowing it won't go away

Thinking how to kill it with the tears in my face

Of course, you don't get it you don't feel the same

Why must I receive all the bitterness of life?

So, you can't blame me for my sickness inside

(Chorus)

Please feel me, that's all I really want

‘Cause all I know is pain it only ends when I'm gone

I'm a soul in the fire that's rotting nonstop

This pain I take

What choice do I have anyway?

Restless I break

& only fall apart until my last day

So few people in my life really listen or care

But even that I lose like a breeze in the air

& so many of you wonder why I change

Because when I try to care for you, you don't anyway

I'm deconstructed of purity, evolution of misery

Frozen in a state of absolute ache

Happiness is only a mirage that crushes me

Why must I see everything falling down in front of me?

If you're there God, I'm fighting, please believe

But if you love your son, why do you leave me to bleed?

You're nowhere in the life of Maniacal V

Do you think I'm bad ‘cause I believe only what I see?

I'm not perfect I make mistakes, but I try

A sinister mind but a heart so big inside

Pain brings love, love brings pain

I'm no pessimist, my truth is just here to stay

Did I ask you to care? No! But did I ask you to listen? Yes!

I'm dying from the stress

Every day passes by with a thought of surrender

‘Cause my fight goes nowhere, that's why my hope is severed

If I didn't have music, I wouldn't be alive

I got no reason to breathe without it in my life

I'm not 1 to stay in the past, it follows me

I didn't choose to have so many bad memories

Life is a slow death that's taking me down

I'm just trying to make the best of it before I finally drown

& at my grave when you're lookin' down, do me a favor

Listen to the music, I hope you understand & use it

My words are for those who want real

My words are for the victims ‘cause I know how you feel

My words are to keep you from becoming me

It's kind of hard to live in pain & not feel ugly