05. Lost

I'm lost like hell, never knew what to be

With no help but left behind when they said they were family

How can it be so tough? I just wanna get away from the fiction. & junk because I've had so much

Always shot down with the title of a loser

Locked in a void with emotional abusers

I'm a chooser of the path, but it never goes straight

People act like my problems just have no weight

I been alone so long to make fierce decisions

Didn't know what to do with my unclеar visions

In my brain I felt little to gain

I don't know how it goes, thе shotgun has been blown & all I know is pain

I been in circles with bullshit, never goes away

As much as I elude it, it straddles & I'm blamed

Can't get away, I can never win

I try so hard, but nothing ever seems to wanna fuckin' give

(Chorus)

Guess I'm lost

God, I'm lost

Guess I'm lost

I'm so lost

Still, I think to this day, should I change?

To fuck myself up more & mess with my brain?

Just to please you & be you & still be hated?

I'd rather keep it maniacal 'cause you'd only betray it

I'm still trying to make something of myself, believe me

Hard to do when so many are ready to deceive me

Lookin' at me, you see an old lonely soul

Keepin' it as strong as I can to stay in control

I really can't explain the evil built inside

When I'm expressin' my depression, I don't ever lie

I beat myself up for my errors when they're so small

I ain't perfect don't wanna be, so don't be taunting me

I get cheated, defeated, I just can't believe it

Work so hard but bad luck stays repeated

It's like my mind is a line I try to keep straight

Jumpin' over garbage but I land headfirst on the gate

Born with challenges, my disabilities

Being a saint is impossible, therefore, I'm the villain V

Sometimes I wish she was here so I could ask my mother

Also, got no comfort with no significant other

All I wanna do is grip this mic & pour out my heart

To help people that have dealt & pull more out the dark

Drop song after song till I can no longer breathe

Then lay in my coffin holdin' onto a V

I got 1 reason to live let's keep it at this:

No music, no life, I hope I'll be leavin' some prints

I'm smashing through any block or hault in my path

& you're goin' down with it if you collar me man

I don't need your sympathy, nor do I beg

'Cause I fight what I can, that's every day

If you feel my tragedies, then all I can say is you feel my pain & you got my biggest thanks