Whipping Post - Intellectual

Adrift aglow

Hitherto, supine on starry reprose

Semimute

Silk soul dig your fading root

Dust decay

Deliquesce flux figure

With tongues and vowels obscured

Frozen frame

Respite reprieve

Ask for more

Now, I’m a patient person, but surely you can understand and pardon my persistence

If you want me to take a step back or two all you have to do is ask

I don’t want to imposе

When I met you, I wore you likе a mollusk wears its shell

I used you, dragged you around, made you my sanctuary

Without you I’m naked

I writhe in the sand like a naked child, my legs furiously kick back and forth as if swimming through the air

The sun’s burning my skin

Its light is inside my skull, illuminating every single wrinkle of my brain, focusing all my reflections in burning phosphorescence that obliterates my body

My ankles are drowning in plasma

My skin is being swallowed by hot steam

My mind is bleeding

It’s falling out of my asshole and landing on the floor with a retchworthy “plop” sound

I’m frightened

I need you

Whose photo did you take?

Whose eyes did you see?

Whose hands did you hold?

Whose face did you touch?

Whose prick was in your hand?

Whose cock was in your cunt?

Who the fuck were you talking to?

I can’t believe you did that

You astonishing piece of shit

In the morning, there’s always a certain kind of transient clarity. All of the transgressions of the previous night seem as distant as ships in the morning disappearing over the horizon. I carry on with my day, kicking pebbles across the limestone, and then my mistakes are sucked back into me like a fleshy kick to the cock. My cells shudder in uniform paroxysms and float away in miasmic explosion. The air forms a gumball sized cyst in the center of my lung. In a moment of pure lucidity I realize there is nothing stopping me from emptying my skull all over the pavement, the entire pavement. My body would fall down like a sack of stupid flesh onto the sidewalk caked with chunks of my cerebrum, nourishing the rats and insects. But I reject this. I do not accept this

But with a wave of your finger

And with a twinkle in your eye

You’re there

On every hill

On every tree

In every closet

In every store

On every bed

On every road

In every dream

In every world

Stupid cunt I fuck the moon shit

It’s all my fault. My mistakes have led me here, to this burning moment, this desultory exchange of throats and mirrors. This maudlin dog-and-pony show. When I took that train, when I held your shape, when I took that bus back home, twisted and shriveled like an overripe fruit in the atrophied morning sun squeezing braids of sweat from my brow, my eyes dreamy and depraved, anodyne and abhorrent, and the only thing I could think about was the velvet touch of your hands, and the smile stretching beyond the very contours of your face, and the violet sparks bursting behind your eyes, I hung my head, and I cried. I lamented my selfishness

Crush my fingers until I cannot grasp

Rip my jaw so cries can’t spill

Slice the sinew off of my bones

Choke the light out of my eyes

Suck the worms out of my cunt

Shatter my spine on the moonrocks outside

I’m not worth shitshine and water-knife

I’m not worth roadkill burdened asphalt

I’m not worth pissed jeans and kicked chairs

I’m not worth the cloudy film on top of plastic yogurt cups

I’m not worth rainwater collecting at the bottom of putrid trash bags

I’m not worth clouds of chlorine pissing down mustard yellow chalk

I’m not worth it

You’re not worth it

I’m not worthy

You’re not worthy

Worthless

I’m worthless

Worthless

I’m worthless

Worthless

I’m worthless

Worthless

I’m worthless

Worthless

I’m worthless