Bad Luck Barry

[Doctor Ice]

Let me tell you a story about a friend of mine

The boy had terrible luck all the time

You know, the boy was goin' crazy, he was goin' berserk

'Cause everything he tried to do, it would not work

'Cause he's (Bad Luck Barry)

Who is he? (Bad Luck Barry)

Example

Goin' to the store to buy some tea and honey

Barry went into the store and forgot the money

Ran to get the money and without a doubt

My man knucklehead got locked out

And when he finally got in, he got the money I suppose

Ran back, and the store was closed

'Cause he's (Bad Luck Barry)

Who is he? (Bad Luck Barry)

Example

Remember the time he had a sho' 'nuff winner

Invited the girl to his crib for dinner

Had a steak in the oven for this girl named Dawn

Got to the crib and forgot to turn in on

I know you're all saying you hung out with this worm

The reason why? 'Cause his sister was firm

He went to a club he never heard of before

He wanted to get loose on the dance floor

He slipped and slided into his dance

A sound went rip, he split his pants

He bought some def shoes from DeLancey Street

And when he put 'em on, they were two left feet

He got a watch for a present, oh, what a surprise

The watch ticks counterclockwise

I remember the time we double dated

My girl came but he waited and waited

When she waddled in, she moved slow as molasses

I bet she couldn't see him with her bulletproof glasses

When we finally went out, he said "Good, at last"

And while we was eating, she had to pass gas

(Bad Luck Barry)

Who is he? (Bad Luck Barry)

Break it down

Don't you feel sorry for Bad Luck Barry?

I said don't you feel sorry for Bad Luck Barry?

[Kangol Kid]

Well, did you know long ago when Barry was born

Though Barry survived, everyone thought he was gone?

When I say "gone", I mean they thought he was dead

'Cause when the doctor said "Push", Barry fell on his head

The injury was minor, they thought it was worse

And ever since that day he was eternally cursed

As the years went by the curse didn't retire

His birthday came around and his cake caught on fire

The flames caught on and everything got hot

And that house they called a home is now a parking lot

(Bad Luck Barry)

Who is he? (Bad Luck Barry)

Barry's bad luck had so many segments

He never had sex 'cause thought he'd get pregnant

So he just said "Forget it", and decided to chill

'Til his mother put him on the birth control pill

He tried to take a lady's pocketbook and run

He pulled out a knife, so she pulled out a gun

He said that he was sorry so she wouldn't get mad

Then the lady robbed Barry for all he had

Later on, he took this girl to the discotheque

He was looking alright, but she was more like a pet

Then the bodyguard stepped into the middle of the crowd

Said "Barry, you can stay, but no pets allowed"

(Bad Luck Barry)

Who is he? (Bad Luck Barry)

Havin' bad luck's no good for your health

'Cause one day Barry said "I'm gonna kill myself"

Put a gun to his head, fully at his risk

Pulled the trigger, BANG, and Barry missed

His luck's so bad, he can't commit suicide

He lived, but the person next to him died

He's the worst there is, and there ain't no doubt

And if you think that's bad then check this out

He never kissed a girl without gettin' slapped

Any mirror he looks into will crack

I once told him that world wasn't round, it's flat

He looked at me and said, "Man, I've been there and back"

You can break someone's heart if you get in thick

But you can't show an old dog new tricks

If you said "Watch your step", Barry, he would fall

In other words, he has no hope at all

Bad Luck Barry