Rap Up 2025 - Intellectual

[Intro]

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

Oh!

New podcast alert

Me and Tony Yayo

The Real Report Show

The Valium

Oh, we get to that bag

Let's go

Happy New Year

It's the unit

[Verse 1]

Diddy beat that Rico

Diddy lucky they couldn't prove it

But the prosecution still charged Diddy with prostitution

He got 4 years because of Cassie

That was his main bitch, she enjoyed them freak offs

These bitches ain't shit

When she testified we heard too much extra shit

He like rubbing other niggas semen on his chest and shit

Gotta say pause man, that shit sound nasty as fuck

He had a mask on in the room

Watching Cassie get fucked

Somebody tell Diddy that's a no Diddy

Jay-Z lawyer said Jay-Z barely know Diddy

I know that jail time stressing him

Then that documentary dropped on Netflix called The Reckoning

When he heard that shit drop he probably dropped to the ground

50 the definition of kick a nigga while he down

Documentary was diabolical

It ruined you

They try to say you made Biggie pay for his own funeral

Lil' Rod don't want to party with Puff no more

He said he used to wake up after the party feeling sore

Shit crazy man, too much messy stuff

He said he used to wake up next to girls or next to Puff

Sounded like he enjoyed all of that gay shit

If Puff would've paid him man he wasn't gonna say shit

He helped you get the album done

Y'all finished it, all you had to do was pay him

And you could've kept hitting it

Trust me he wasn't gonna say a thing

50 documentary did more number than Stranger Things

Cause that nigga Diddy was doing stranger shit

Playing with other niggas booty like it's okay and shit

Cassie out here getting sued too

By a sex worker that she gave her STD to

If he got it, you got it

Puff got it, y'all nasty

I really thought you was innocent but you not Cassie

[Chorus]

Crazy, crazy, shit crazy

I'm part of the holidays along with Mariah

What a coincidence, I did a song with Mariah

Y'all heard what happened, y'all know what happened

But y'all don't care, y'all still want me to talk about the shit every year

I'm part of the holidays along with Mariah

Every year, around this time we both be on fire

[Interlude]

I can't do anything but acknowledge

That is a woman

That we want them

That you don't believe in

That is a woman

[Verse 2]

Niggas callin' Young Thug a snitch, and it's all his fault

Even though what he said in that precinct, that get used in court

Now he feelin' like Gunna, awkward as fuck

He ain't rappin', he was in that precinct talkin' too much

I tell y'all, whatever y'all want, just keep it on the low

That's what you said in the precinct before they let you go

Man, you heard Zach Worms, but just don't tell the world

Then you gave your number to that detective, girl

He admitted he did bad, he was in there like me on the podcast with DJ Vlad

Nigga, let your lawyer talk, you ain't supposed to speak

Then after that, all your jail phone calls got leaked

Niggas said Gucci gettin' soft, that shit was funny

Said the Migos and the Ram, they ain't makin' QC no money

Young thug was pillow-talkin' on that jack

He even told Mariah that P from QC a rat

Shit, I was in shock when I heard that

Then the other day, 21 Savage confirmed that

He said he told P he did bad to his face

P, it's time for you to speak up and talk about the case

Thug even talked about Lil Baby gettin' jerked

And P from QC did that, that was nasty work

Thug, you did a whole lot of talkin', buddy

You even told your girl that you think GloRilla ugly

He apologised to her, but it was fake

He even talked about Lil Durk, Future, and Drake (And Kendrick)

He went on Big Bang Summer, tried to fix it up

Lil Baby was ignoring his calls and not pickin' up

Fuck your respect, you talk too much

You might get him indicted next

Honestly, Gunna, young thug, sound like he miss you

Even him and YFN Lucci, deaded they issues

Real shit, I respect what they did, but we ain't deading shit if niggas shot up my momma crib

Now they doin' interviews, respectin' each other

YSL Woody mad they got a record together

Big Bang basically told 21 Savage

If Gunna did what Thug did, y'all wouldn't say he ratted

And that's real talk, nigga, this shit sad

Now they sayin' fuck the streets, cause Young Thug did bad

If a nigga did bad, he no good, that's what I be thinkin'

But when it come to Young Thug, it's elected politickin'

They movin' the goalpost to help Young Thug

If Gunna ain't no good, nigga, neither is young thug

They tryna flip the narrative on some other shit

Everybody get held accountable for doin' some sucker shit

Can't say fuck the streets after it raised you

Niggas rapped about it, look at all the money it made you

Okay, no more drug talkin', talkin' about shootin' shit

Tryna rap about goin' to school and eatin' fruits and shit

That's what Lil Boosie said and I agree with it

Go ahead and make a new album and not put the streets in it

I know it's not gon' happen, nigga, picture that

Y'all just tryna get that Gunna feature to bring y'all city back

Ask T.I., sayin' fuck the streets is bad grammar

Niggas out here callin' y'all niggas Ratlanta

Damn

[Chorus]

Crazy, crazy, shit crazy

I'm part of the holidays along with Mariah

What a coincidence, I did a song with Mariah

Y'all heard what happened, y'all know what happened

But y'all don't care, y'all still want me to talk about the shit every year

I'm part of the holidays along with Mariah

Every year, around this time we both be on fire

[Interlude]

Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby

I'm part of the holidays along with Mariah

Okay, let's stop talkin' secrets

What a coincidence, I did a song with Mariah

Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby

Crazy, crazy, shit crazy

Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby

Y'all heard what happened, y'all know what

Happened, but y'all don't care

[Verse 3]

Irv Gotti, passed away, but I'm G-Unit

Can't say nuttin' nice, 50 gon' be like, what you doin'? (What he say?)

Picture me sayin' that I'm just payin' my respects

He gon' be like, "no more tours, no more private jets"

And honestly, I gotta feel him

Irv used to hang around them niggas that tried to kill him

Can't expect 50 to show no sympathy

If it was the other way around, Irv ain't have the same energy

Meanwhile, Ja Rule got a hundred guns, hundred clips

Got punched in the face at the Barclays ain't do shit (Haha)

He was on his way to the stage when he got snuffed

It happened so fast, Fat Joe couldn't break it up (He couldn't)

You know that lil' video y'all saw was after he got knocked out and got up off the floor (God damn)

First he tried to say Tasha K was cappin'

Then he had to come out and tell the truth about what happened

But nobody care what Ja Rule got to say

He an example of a nothin' beats a Jet 2 Holiday

Found out Summer Walker a crazy bitch

She ain't got no shame in fuckin' niggas that's in relationships

That's what she said, I'm just repeatin' it

She out here fuckin' niggas for money like she in need of it

She too successful to be actin' like a slut

Told Rich the kid to save her number under Pizza Hut

I couldn't believe that shit

Hope Summer Walker know one day her kids is gon' see that shit

So disrespectful, pardon my manners

Just found out Karrueche gettin' fucked by Deion Sanders

Cardi B and Nicki beefin', poppin' a lot of shit

Disrespectful, they gotta learn to lead the kids out of it

This whole year though, Nicki been goin' viral

Wasn't bitin' her tongue for nobody if she ain't like it

You know when girls get mad, they don't give a damn

She put funny pictures up of Jay-Z on Instagram

And she just deleted her Instagram

For supportin' Donald Trump

She had lost like 10 million fans

She even picked on SZA, my favourite singer

She don't even bother nobody, Nicki, why you diss her?

Nicki don't care if people paintin' her as the villain

She still went on tour and made 108 million

Stefon Diggs and Cardi B had a baby

He got three other bitches pregnant too, he crazy

Baby after baby, now this shit can't be real

He got caught on the boat givin' three bitches pink pills

I know Offset stressed that nigga can't be happy

She really had a baby on you while y'all was still married

Sign them divorce papers and get it done with

Stop tryin' to get money out of her on some bum shit

Lil Meech stressed, know how much money he lost?

After Big Meech went and took that picture with Rick Ross

I was wonderin' how 50 gon' handle it

Oh, no more BMF show, that nigga cancelled it

Then they started sayin' that Big Meech is a rat

Crazy, only Tammy and Cuffy can speak on that

Ever since you took that picture, nothin' been the same

How you ain't know that Rick Ross nigga was a lame?

Come on, man, Officer Ricky a bozo

That nigga pussy, he be tryin' to use 50 for promo

That nigga do whatever to go viral I'm never surprised

Jim Jones told Joe and Jada he better than Nas

Said he had more billboard entries than Nas too

The lie detector test determined that was not true (Come on, man)

He got more billboard inches than me though

But I ain't out here sayin' that I'm better than Jay-Z, bro

And you said my nigga Yayo broke, he not though

I was just with him eatin' smoked duck in Morocco

Had Escargot with the caviar pancakes

It be all type of exotic foods my man plate

[Chorus]

Crazy, crazy, shit crazy

I'm part of the holidays along with Mariah

What a coincidence, I did a song with Mariah

Y'all heard what happened, y'all know what happened

But y'all don't care, y'all still want me to talk about the shit every year

Crazy, crazy, shit crazy

[Verse 4]

50 vs. the whole podcast, let's rap about it

We called some niggas squatters and Maino got mad about it

Maino put a curly hair picture of 50 up

Then the nigga Jim Jones layin' low called 50 up

Oh, he had a lot to say, he couldn't wait to vent

He was tellin' 50 how the nigga Jim Jones on rent

Oh, they recorded that shit, y'all heard him say it

They put Jimmy in a tight spot, he was forced to pay it

Then they put a freestyle out all four of them

Fab shit was lit, but right now 50 ignorin' him

If he do respond, I might be on that song with him

Tell an engineer to punch me in when he done recordin' him

Dame Dash still broke, Jay should help out

Last year it was his teeth, this year him and Kim fell out

He was on the Breakfast Club, Charlamagne called him broke

They start arguin', you can tell he ain't like the joke

That nigga told Charlamagne he not a man

He brought up the time, he got punched in the face and ran

Dame always goin' up there, startin' shit

I'm surprised his teeth ain't fall out during the argument

Bobby was in Minnesota, he had a low fight

Yeah, niggas jumped him, but he fought back, he alright

Bobby threw the first punch, let's give him his flowers

Then he got his peace back in less than 24 hours

Max B came home, French went to pick him up

Got him some jewellery, then they went to go fuck the city up

Oh, the wave is back, Max back in his bag

Everybody was at the welcome home party that he had

Ain't no friends in this rap shit, I'm just bein' real

Niggas showin' Max B love despite how Jimmy feel

After 20 something years, he's still relevant

But the streets sayin' they want you to put out some better shit

Free Kay Flock, man, he got 30 years

I was mad when I heard that shit, that shit hurt my ears

Look, I don't know what he did or didn't do

I just feel bad for him, he young, he only 22

Pras from the Fugees, gotta do 14 years

For some government scandal shit, but nobody cares

He was the least popular member out the whole group

Lauryn Hill and Wyclef was all we cared about, that's the truth

Pooh Shiesty home, nigga back like he never left

That first day, y'all wreckin' litters, runnin' up with checks

Get it back in blood just went eight times platinum

Free Lil Durk, without Durk, that shit wouldn't have happened

Meg Thee Stallion, got Tory Lanez fans upset again

When they heard he got stabbed up in jail by a Mexican

They like, he almost died, man, he shouldn't be in there

She out here fuckin' Klay Thompson now, she don't even care

Big U got snatched up by the feds

They try to say he left a nigga out in the desert dead

They hit him with the Rico, they said he was controllin' shit

Then his son got killed, I wanna send my condolences

Try to hold your head, can't imagine how that shit feel

Bein' locked up in here and watch your son gettin' killed

How is Ksoo's father told on his own son?

That's why Deuce be out here sayin' the street's done

[Chorus]

Crazy, crazy, shit crazy

I'm part of the holidays along with Mariah

What a coincidence, I did a song with Mariah

Y'all heard what happened, y'all know what happened

But y'all don't care, y'all still want me to talk about the shit every year

Crazy, crazy, shit crazy

[Verse 5]

DJ Enuff got fired from Hot 97

Did Funk Flex get him fired?

That's the number one question

Flex went on the radio, but denied it

DJ Enuff still think Flex was behind it

I thought they had a brotherhood, guess all of that was fake

Flex was on the radio callin' Camilo a snake

You was out of line for that, what you gon' say next?

I know all them heavy hitter DJs hate Flex

Flex said to DaBaby fucked Kimora Lee Simmons

The baby responded sayin' no, the fuck he did

Flex be buggin' out, I thought that was funny

He cleared it up, he was talkin' bout Baby from Cash Money

Hot 97, the topic of a lotta shit

Ebro got fired too, he said it was cuz of politics

Drake was happy when he heard they let Ebro go

He put a axe emoji under a Ebro video

And he told him to die slow in the DM

Drake actin' like it's gon' be real smoke when he see him

Cam'ron and Jim Jones got beef again

Feel different this time, I don't think they gon' speak again

And Cam was beefin' with Omar Gooding

You see how stupid Cam had that nigga Omar lookin'?

Had him audition for a movie, a fake booker

For $3,500 and Baby Boy took it

Me and Yayo got a weed dispensary in Queens

It's called The Unit, powered by Indoor

That's the team, they got Eric Adams outta here

He was a fraud, the new mayor of New York

Gave Mysonne a job, pre-reported documentary

I call him, Bimmy Iraq, they interviewed Prince about it

He said the shit was a fact, Bimmy put a video out

Sayin' all of that's cap, you know niggas favour line

B, where that paperwork at?

Y'all seen what happened to Charlie Kirk?

God don't like ugly, ain't it funny how God work?

NEL Choppa out here, well, he chasin' clout

Beefin' with NBA young boy, fuck that's all about

Both his baby mothers made him look stupid

They made a video to NBA boy Young Music

And they had his kids in the car while they taped it

NBA Youngboy ain't even have to say shit

I know white people sad, cause Hulk Hogan died

But he was callin' us niggas, so we didn't cry

How we supposed to feel? He was a racist

Mad at his daughter for a black guy she was datin'

And Jake Paul finally fought a real boxer

He got knocked the fuck out by Anthony Joshua

That's what he get for beatin' up Iron Mike

He a hustler, but it's somethin' about him that I don't like

Lil Nas X got caught runnin' around naked

He on the same drugs that the nigga Joe Budden takin'

What happened to Melissa Ford? She was just lit as fuck

Joe Budden don't need 'em no more, he makin' a million a month

Birdman got caught sleepin' on stage

I don't know if he was high or is it cause of old age

Rick Ross girl ain't wanna kiss him in public

She was like, nah, I can't do it, man, this shit feel disgusting

Rappers is emotional, I be exposin' them

Wale was mad at Kai Cenat for not knowin' him

Ray J mad at Jay and Bey over a picture

For takin' one with Monica and not one with his sister

Grammy ain't say nothin' about that shit, mind you

Ray J just lookin' for an excuse to go viral

Come on, Ray J, we all know you a troll

You was just out here sayin' how Diddy took your bootyhole

People say the dumbest shit nowadays and think it's funny

Sukiana out here sayin' she used to fuck for money

That's embarrassing, that's shit that she shouldn't do

She out here sayin' Saweetie was sellin' pussy too

And this white girl tryna say Shannon Sharpe raped her

Fifty million dollars is what that nigga had to pay her

ESPN fired him, Stephen A couldn't save him

I know he feel stupid, that white bitch really played him

Niggas broke out of jail, they had this shit on tape

I was in New Orleans, I was happy when they escaped

They locked everybody back up after that crazy shit

I was mad, I was really hopin' they get away with it

Especially the last one, I was hopin' he ain't get caught

He was arguin' with his girl, it was all that dumb bitch fault

Ray J got locked up, gotta stop that drinkin'

He pulled a gun out on his baby mother on Thanksgiving

I be feelin' bad for people, they don't even be funny

Big Meech came home and fucked up Lil' Meech money

What Trump got ICE doin' out here should be illegal

They really lockin' up hardworkin' innocent people

All them Trump voters was out here goin' on a rant

Cause he was out here playin' around with people's food stamps

That government shutdown affected a lot of people

Especially the lower class men, the government is evil

Airplanes crashin' nowadays like it's regular

That's somethin' else you can blame Trump for etc

You know them Epstein Files finally came out

But it's a few pages missing that the people complainin' about

Bill Clinton and Donald Trump was all in them shits

It's like they had their own Jeffrey Epstein membership

A lot of new podcasters dropped, let me say this shit

The rookie of the year award goes to Joe and Jada shit

Oh, it's lit now, nigga, turn up the volume

Me and Yayo got a new podcast, deal with the volume

Make sure you subscribe, like, and leave a comment

It's called The Real Report Show, we got the volume behind it

Heard it was money in this shit, well, let's go find it

We got the deal, cause Fat Joe and Jadakiss co-signed it

A$AP Rocky and RiRi had another kid

And he beat that case, he ain't gotta go and do a bid

A$AP Relli out here lookin' like a dummy

All that tellin' for nothin', still ain't gettin' no money

Chrisean Rock was lickin' on the nigga toes

That nigga Blueface cut her off when he came home

The NFL tried to hate on Shidor Sanders

Askin' him trick questions, but he always respond with manners

Fifth round draft pick, man, that was insane

He the only rookie to have a 300-yard passing game

Knicks got that Marlboro mentality, Kobe

They ain't get that ring yet, but they won that little trophy

Philly won the Super Bowl, they hit the jackpot

Cam Newton was on TV, smackin' the mascot

NBA Youngboy fucked Kai Cenat bitch

Now Kai Cenat got mental health issues and shit

I been goin' in for 18 minutes

I probably forgot some shit, but fuck it, I'm finished

[Chorus]

Crazy, crazy, shit crazy

I'm part of the holidays, I love my Mariah

What a coincidence, I did a song on Mariah

Y'all heard what happened, y'all know what happened, but y'all don't care

Y'all still want me to talk about this shit, hell yeah

Crazy, crazy, shit crazy

Hidin' new brand

Strange gang

We gettin' to it

Ain't no money like we money

[Outro]

Yeah like I told y'all man me and my nigga Yayo

Got a new dispensary in Queens

Called The Unit

Shout out to my nigga Mo, my nigga O

My nigga Wes

Come get that good smoke, we got that fire, nigga

Hottest new brand

Strain Gang

We gettin' to it

Ain't no money like weed money

Puff puff pass, nigga