Up at night I toss and turn I don’t know what to say

I meant it when I said I wanna talk, but I’m afraid

I want you here right next to me, but pushing you away

Is how I keep your colours safe from me, I love them but I’m gray

Look I don’t usually write like this

But tonight this shits a battle I can’t fight with fists

And I don’t think I’ve ever really gripped the mic like this

But everything I write tonight is for your life my sis

Yeah I’m just tryna keep it together, I had a crazy November

You almost missed this December

Remember life will get better, just gotta weather this storm

I know it ain’t always warm, so let me give you my sweater, I better ah!, take a little second to breathe

Man I gotta get out my mental, just need a little relief

And I know that girls just a rental, and still I somehow receive

But in a few months I leave, fuck I’d never give her my seed. That’s greed

I’m off topic, I got little regrets

I don’t mean none of them, I mean I feel I’m riddled with stress, rekindle an ex, told her I want little but sex

I’m brittle and vexed, living off reality checks

Now I gotta make it for idols at the top

Me and my homies at the bottom, we stay grinding every drop

And people hop onto the wagon cause they know it never stops

And I’m the horse that it’s attached to so I’ll spit shit till I pop

Bad kidz, without a penny to our names

We filling every single page we jotting down about a stage

When people pay us for a photo, and they show up just to rage

So I invested every cent I made off of minimum wage

Up at night I toss and turn I don’t know what to say

I meant it when I said I wanna talk, but I’m afraid

I want you here right next to me, but pushing you away

Is how I keep your colours safe from me, I love them but I’m gray

And now the girl on mind, is a thousand miles away

Instead of calling I’m ballin, man I’m just tryna get laid

I know I’m blessed and I try to stay humble, shouldn’t complain

But still I trip and I stumble, sometimes give in to the pain

Maybe it’ve worked if I wasn’t so emotionally distant

Left me in the dirt, said you always busy and inconsistent

Mind was always missing, I heard but I never listened

I thought, but I never felt a fucking thing don’t get it twisted

I knew you already knew that

These hoes could never see through that, want you, but cannot pursue that

Gotta provide for my brothers, who welcomed me like a shoe mat

I know you tried but it’s hard to see all the times that I blew at

From many miles away

I know you tried and you prayed

And hoped one day I’d get over it all and smile it away

I really wish it that simple I’d fucking fly on a plane

And book that ticket to Paris so I could take you away

Through many years, had plenty fears, I skid steer

Faced em like a deer in the headlights, they in my rear mirror

With all my haters and doubters Know they can hear clear

U.Fø’s year, you don’t fuck wit me better steer clear

Went through too much in 2019

They told me go and eat shit, but it’s funny cause mines clean

Listen dummy this rhyme scheme

Snatches honey’s and dimes please

Your bitch changing in front me, you fronting on my team

Up at night I toss and turn I don’t know what to say. I meant it when I said I wanna talk, but I’m afraid. I want you here right next to me, but pushing you away, is how I keep your colours safe from me, I love them but I’m gray