I'm off to the ladies, she's off to the gents...

A curious relationship

It'll end in tedium or it'll end in bed

We're commonly crossed legged but regally spread

We're like the carpet-burned knees of desire

Both of us are blushing

Both of us are skint (again)

Get up and throw another plug on the fire

Don't blow a hole in the royal mint

(these suckers are skint)

You can fool some people all the time

And you can suffer fools some of the time

You can even fool all the people

All of the time...

But you cannae kid yourself

That you're the main attraction

And that you'll keep your hands on her

Off to the trough and the cubicle

To get pharmaceutically full of yourself

I'm pushing my boat out

To greet your ship coming in

Don't kid yourself

You're the main attraction

That I won't get my hands on her

Between the trough and the cubicle

Just stop for a bloody good look at yourself...

I'm pushing my boat out

To greet your ship coming in

Between the trough and the cubicle

You sure made a bloody good fool of yourself