Rat-a-tat-tat-a-tat like the Telltale Heart

Rat-a-tat go the wheels of my shopping cart

Siphoning the snack foods out of the convenience mart

Like a mylar balloon

I’m going to be so big it’s going to be a scandal

I’m going to be as big as Marlon Brando

If you want to touch me now, grab my love handles

Pinch an inch, or pinch a foot

Mylar balloon, mi estómago, my paunch

My big bread basket, my beluga, my husk

Guilt filled it, my gullet. Guilt crammed it, my craw

Guilt of misusing Ally Sheedy

Let my pants soak you in a twist of fate

Watch my nips and navel in a tête-à-tête

I’m going to be so big it’s going to be a scandal

I’m going to be as big as Marlon Brando

Never going to be no puny Tony Randal, or Evan Dando

Ron Santo, pinch an inch or pinch a foot now

Mylar balloon, mi estómago, my paunch

My big bread basket, my beluga, my husk

Guilt filled it, my gullet. Guilt crammed it, my craw

Guilt of misusing Ally Sheedy