[Intro]

Hey, man, what are you really into, huh?

[Verse 1]

The elusive butterfly has just tip-toed past my door

My buddy likes the Yankees, she says "Hey, T-Bone, what's the score?"

And I say, "Well, Reggie got 1 in 1 in 3 and 25 is 6 to 4"

Is the left-wing really pinko? Colonel Sanders, what a bore

[Chorus]

You ask so many questions, what answers should I choose?

Is this schizoid paranoia, or just existential blues?

[Verse 2]

The amenities of life have been chasing my soul

And my mind is transcendental and I'm losing all control

And I'm sinking in the quagmire of illusions and Thoreau

I cry out, "My name is T-Bone" as a hound dog digs a hole

[Chorus]

You ask so many questions, what answers should I choose?

Is this Plato's heebie-jeebies, or just existential blues?

[Bridge]

Sailing, sailing, what is ilusion? What is true?

Sailing, sailing over the existential blues

God bless America and Old Glory too

May she always wave o'er us with the red, white and existential blues, hey

Ba-ba-de-ba-ba-da-ba-da-da

Ba-de-bom-ba-de-bom-ba-ding-a-ding-ding ding, existential blues

Hey, you can do what you want but lay off my existential blues

My blue suede existential blues

[Interlude]

I was on a quest to dream the impossible dream

Walking down the road one day, doo-dah, doo-dah

I was walking down the road, I was looking for the truth of life

When I came across all these little people, little people, little people all around me

They looked up at me and said, "Hey, mister, are you tall?"

I said, "Yes, I'm tall, but who are you weird little wonders?"

And they looked up at me with their big, red, bloodshot eyes and said

"We are the lollipop kids

The lollipop kids, the lollipop kids

We are the lollipop kids

And we'd like to welcome you to Munchkinland!"

I said, "Hey

Hey, weird little wonders, I am on a quest to dream the impossible dream

Walking down the road one day, doo-dah, doo-dah

I said, "Hey kids, I'm looking for the truth of life

Where do I go, who do I see?"

They said, "Slow down, mister, in order to find the truth of life

One must see the wizard!"

I said, "The wizard? Well, where does this wizard, old wise one, live?"

They said, "You see the big, green, glow-in-the-dark house up on the hill?"

I said, "Yes, I see the big, green, glow-in-the-dark house up on the hill

There's a big, dark forest between me and the big, green, glow-in-the-dark house up on the hill

And a little old lady on a Hoover vacuum cleaner going

"Ow, I'll get you, my little pretty, and your little dog, Toto, too!"

I don't even have a little dog, Toto"

Such predicaments, I must forge ahead to dream the impossible dream

Walking down the road one day, doo-dah, doo-dah

I must find the truth of life

I said, "But you know, kids, I can handle a big, green, glow-in-the-dark house up on the hill

I can handle a dark forest, I can handle the little old lady

But that's a very strange road you're sending me down!

I've seen yellow stripes in the middle of a road before, but kids, uh, never quite that wide!"

All right, tighten your shorts pilgrim, and sing like the Duke

Follow the yellow brick road (Come on)

Follow the yellow brick road (Everybody sing)

Follow, follow, follow, follow

Follow the yellow brick road

If ever a wonderful wiz' there was

The Wizard of Oz is one because

Because, because, because, because, because

Because of the wonderful things he does!

La-la-la-la-la-la-la, ha-ha!

We're off to see the wizard

The wonderful Wizard of Oz!

Well, I got a little bit tired of

Walking down the road one day, doo-dah, doo-dah

I got a little bit tired of walking down this old, blinding yellow road

So I pulled my little tired old body off to a little rest area

And lo and behold, there's a little field of little red flowers out there and they

*sniff* Heh, smelled so good, whoa

I was gettin' pretty tired and they smelled so good, and I

Figured, well, I'll just stretch out in this little field of poppies!

*cough* Hey, what a strange dream, man, you know

The little flowers, they smell awfully good, and I was pretty tired and

The old wizard's just gonna have to wait, man, because I'm just gonna stretch out again in the little field of poppies! *cough*

Oh, God (Dorothy, Dorothy) *sniff*

Dorothy's been coppin' this field all to herself, man

Along came this old man in a green El Dorado II, screeched to a halt

A little short man with a big red nose

Toking a bottle of Yukon Jack

Strolled up to me and said, "Hey, son"

I said, "Old man, don't bother me

Poppies, mm"

He said, "T-Bone!"

I said, "Wait a minute, this old man knows my name, he must be the wizard"

He must be the Wizard

The Wizard of Oz

Why have you come to haunt me?

Oh, Wizard of Oz

I said, "Oh, Wizard, old wise one, I have been on a quest to dream the impossible dream

Walking down the road one day, doo-dah, doo-dah

And I met these little people

We are the lollipop kids, the lollipop kids, the lollipop kids

Follow the yellow brick road

Follow, follow, follow

I got tired

Poppies, poppies

Little old man, I've been through hell!"

He said, "Hey, son, slow down, relax"

I said, "But, wizard, old, wise one, I have come so far to find the truth of life"

He says, "Hey, son, slow down, relax"

He said, "To tell you the truth, son"

I said, "Wizard, that's what I've come to find is the truth"

He said, "No, no, no, son, you've got me all wrong, Heh-heh

To tell you the truth, son, uh, how can I tell you this? Uh

I've been in this field of poppies a long time myself and I've come to find, son, that the only truth in life is right here in this bottle"

I said, "Wizard!"

He said, "No, truly, son

In fact, I'd rather have this bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy!"

How profound, wizard

[Verse 3]

Some girl with psychic power, she said, "T-Bone, what's your sign?"

I blink and answer, "Neon" I thought I'd blow her mind

She's reading Moby Dick by some fruitcake named Herman

She's chomping on a knockwurst, was the duchess really German?

[Chorus]

You ask so many questions, what answers should I choose?

Is this really Butte, Montana, or just existential blues?

[Outro]

Really Butte, Montana?

Is this Plato's heebie-jeebies?

Is this schizoid paranoia?

La-la-la-la-la-la-la, existential blues!