Rocket launcher, rail gun, BFG Nine Thousand One

Never saw it coming and I never had a chance

Bad enough being dead, Sub Zero pulled off my head

Master Chief is doing his victory dance

Lost Asia in Risk, Diablo burnt me to a crisp

Even though I had the Godly Plate of the Whale

Two pair, eights and kings, Sauron got the One Ring

Getting dysentery on the Oregon Trail

Harry Potter came up short dueling with Voldemort

Elspeth Holliday met the Blair Witch

Spider-Man showed such aplomb till he mеt that pumpkin bomb

Mr. Incredible didn't throw the switch

Cliff racеrs, cave bats, stupid frickin' giant rats

Deadly pirahna poodles, or soldier ants

You were eaten by a grue, Hah! The wumpus got you

Nancy Drew and Scooby Doo teabagged in Halo 2

Dead again

Splattered all over a rendered killing floor

Dead again

Let me respawn and I'll be back for more

Dead again

Let me get to the checkpoint, then you can do your worst

Dead again

Then I'll reload but this time I'll shoot first

My marble plummets from a height, should have rolled it to the right

Jumped through lots of traffic but then fell off a log

Russian cubes from the sky, and I let 'em stack too high

Punched right off the screen by a humanoid frog

T-rex got me, now I'm toast, chased down by a blinking ghost

Landed on some spikes and dropped every last ring

Bitten by a fanged slug, Jafar zapped my flying rug

Trampled in a bog by a Barbarian King

Mechanized war bots, Mudokan slingshots

Centipede dropping a flea on my head

Couldn't fly as Alfred Chicken, Duke Nukem kept on kickin'

Fought Guy of Gisborne with only some bread

Skeletons hit me twice, dragon breath cased me in ice

Couldn't line up all the jewels three in a row

Shot up by Miami cops, beaten with karate chops

Kept on missing platform hops, and the timer never stops

Dead again

How come these worlds have so many bottomless pits?

Dead again

And everyone that I meet wants me blown to bits

Dead again

Reincarnation one byte at a time

Dead again

It's so embarassing to be killed by green slime

Real life goes on until you're

Dead, or so I'm told

Injury, catastrophe, or

Simply growing old

Fantasy's supposed to be where

You can find your dreams

But all I find is game designers

Hooked on players' screams

Smothered by a boa constrictor, drawn and quartered by a lich or

Eaten by a cat while dodging Beethoven's Fifth

My flying ostrich drowned, monkeys thowing barrels down

Torn apart by creatures out of legend and myth

Zombies got a hold of Jill, nurses up in Silent Hill

All those German snipers on the beach at Omaha

Swallowed by the sand worms, infected by some nasty germs

Didn't slap the leather when I heard him say, "DRAW!"

Running from Koala Kong, made a turn that's really wrong

Sephiroth's supernova fried us where we stood

Broiled in a lava flow, squashed by Super Mario

Didn't make my saving throw against lawful good

Thirty zillion space machines blowning up in cut scenes

I actually found a way to die in Myst

Ninja swords decapitate, plasma guns obliterate

Pocket nukes annihilate, reboot, transubstantiate

Dead again

Inching ahead until once more I choke

Dead again

The funeral bills would leave my whole state broke

Dead again

Something is trying to chew off both my legs

Dead again

Who in the hell dreams up these easter eggs?

Dead again

All of the guys at work think I'm a freak

Dead again

They watch golf and NASCAR every week

Dead again

They'll never understand what I call fun

Dead again

'Cause any of my lives is cooler than their one