[Intro]

Haha, oh my God

Tower Beatz on the track

[Verse]

Listen, I think I can hear it

Mac Lethal is hypin' himself in the mirror

His wife tries to tell him that she's gettin' curious

He just yells, "Shut the fuck up, bitch, this Tom guy is serious"

I hoped you would kill it, I'm always a optimist

Thought your response would be flawless and awesome, it's

Gotta be hard finding time to perfect all your rhymes

Every night at Narcotics Anonymous

Hi Dave, hi Dave, hi Dave!

I'm not even trying

You don't scare me at all

If you did a drive-by, I'd wave!

It's so cute when you rap

It's like I'm watching my dad

Tryna use an iPad

You should just give it back

You've been sober, like, eight years

You the type of guy who can't have a beer

Have a single drink and need to get some coke

And probably suck a dick for a painkiller

You party animal, you bad boy

You're a crazy son of a gun

All that karate and still you're a pussy?

You tap on my shoulder and run?

Where are you going? I'm over here

In a house that you can't afford with your career

Got your own pool? Kids in private school?

You the fuckin' mother of the year

You keep talking millions, I Googled your wealth

You are worth two, Dave, I am worth twelve

You're tweeting at YouTube, "Somebody help

With my monetized videos!" Dave, that's a tell

Broke and ugly, short and stubby, forty somethin'

With a face that was born for punchin'

Act tough, but I know at your core it's muffins

The type to wife up the first whore who fucked him

Big bad Dave got that Ellen co-sign

Cool

Tried to ride that wave to the Hollywood sign

Fool

You were so excited just to get invited

Teeth professionally whitened, couldn't cheese enough

You said, "I love rap because it's counter-culture!"

Dave, counter-culture is who beats you up

My future has Grammies

Your future is handies from Tammy

Imagining baddies in nasty pajammies

And transplanting hair to your head from your fanny

I saw you doing teeth commercials

You a actor, Dave, I don't need rehearsals

I'll piss in your mouth 'til you wheeze and gurgle

And stomp on your head 'til your cheeks are purple

I was a wrestler, I wore spandex

You were a customer, you did Xanax

I'll take you and your bitch by the ear

And then smash you together like Stone Cold's beer

Being a fucking loser's in your DNA

This ain't a punchline, it's a PSA

The chromosomes from your ma and pa

Create retards and they name 'em Dave

Nobody's safe, tell your wifey to chain up her legs

Remove all her eggs

Put 'em in bags and then lock them away in a safe

And send it away on a plane

I'm lucky that I know CPR

My girl heard your diss and she died laughin'

She was bummed, we waited like a week

And then she went right back into Minecraftin'

My girl was on Def Jam

Your girl look like Death, fam

She the Grim Reaper, knew I'd spit ether

She collecting the soul of a dead dad

They're gonna need a whole family of coffins

When you Chris Benoit 'em to solve all your problems

The shame and embarrassment, all of the comments

From fans you had, I saw it, you lost 'em

Ain't dropped a album in four years

Dawg, rapping is your hobby

My career, less than a year

Twenty-thousand physical copies

I have millions of streams, I'm living your dream

You're a glorified YouTuber, look like a meme

Go to stupid extremes, definition of tryhard

"Watch me rap after eating a Tide POD"

Dying for attention

That's why you started this little beef

You're so desperate, expect that right after this ends

Your sex tape probably leak

You've been on Ellen and Rogan, why aren't you a star?

Here, let me tell you, it isn't the bars

It's the way that you look, it's the way that you are

Nobody cares about your music no more

Dawg, you do impressions

You rap in twenty styles and you think it's flexing

I got a question, why you gotta pretend

To be everyone else to resemble impressive?

I killed you already, this don't need a sequel

I'm honestly bored with this shit

Feels like I'm kicking a corpse with shoes you can't afford

Feel horrible doing you like this

How many rappers wrote your response?

Come on, Dave, give 'em credit

I know you sent texts, I saw with my eyes

I know what you said, Dave, I read it (Tower Beatz on the track)

You a real piece of shit

Nah, like a real piece of shit

Like if a piece of shit ate a piece of shit

Took a pee and shit, you're that piece of shit

I'm on, like, five minutes, shit, lemme see

You were canceled and fired from MTV

The network wanted something fresh and clean

I bet any day, they'll be calling me

You left Rhymesayers 'cause you had to

You didn't walk away, it wasn't something you planned, dude

Got lost in the drugs and the whirlwind

Caught pants down with another man's girlfriend

Piece of shit

Nah, like a real piece of shit

Like if a piece of shit fucked a piece of shit

And got an STD, you're that piece of shit

You got a pet bird, bet you never thought you'd be dead first

I'ma put you both in the oven when you get burned

I'ma put you both in a pet urn

Piss into the bottle, mix it up, and turn the ash into plaster

Give it to your bitch

Tell her "Make statues of me just to capture my win"

My girl would just spit in her face and we'll dip

Get a hammer and come back and smash it to bits

Put a plaque in its place so that no one forgets

That your biggest mistake was as good as it gets

For a guy whose career doesn't even exist

It's the peak of the mountain for you, this is it

Your aesthetic is pathetic, you don't get it, I'm prophetic

Your rap aesthetics are boring, fuck a Guinness World Record

Be careful where you are headed, I'm cemented as a legend

David Sheldon's severed head is destined to be the evidence

Every room that you ever enter, I will always be the elephant

While you try to fit this capital L into development

You deader than Lennon, I sent a letter to Heaven

That explodes when it opens, I hope it gets your attention

I can smell it, you sweatin', and it's 11:11

I make a wish that, when you die, you come back resurrected

So I can kill you again and again and again, for the record

If you're feeling kind of froggy and you jump you get dissected

Oh, dear

I can't believe that I had to set this shit straight, man

Old ears

I hope you hear exactly what I say, man

I'm here

You said you didn't even know my name, dawg

So here

I'll say it so you don't forget again

[Outro]

It's Tom MacDonald, bitch