[Intro]

Who made me the genius I am today

The mathematician that others all quote?

Who's the professor that made me that way

The greatest that ever got chalk on his coat?

[Chorus]

One man deserves the credit

One man deserves the blame

And Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name

Oy, Nicolai Ivanovich Lobach—

[Interlude]

I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky

In one word he told me secret of success in mathematics:

Plagiarize

[Verse 1]

Plagiarize

Let no one else's work evade your eyes

Remember why the good Lord made your eyes

So don't shade your eyes

But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize

Only be sure always to call it please, "research"

[Chorus]

And ever since I meet this man

My life is not the same

And Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name

Oy, Nicolai Ivanovich Lobach—

[Interlude]

I am never forget the day

I am given first original paper to write

It was on analytic and algebraic topology

Of locally Euclidean metrizations

Of infinitely differentiable Riemannian manifolds

Bozhe moy

This I know, from nothing

What I'm going to do

I think of great Lobachevsky and get idea, haha

[Verse 2]

I have a friend in Minsk

Who has a friend in Pinsk

Whose friend in Omsk

Has friend in Tomsk

With friend in Akmolinsk

His friend in Alexandrovsk

Has friend in Petropavlovsk

Whose friend somehow is solving now

The problem in Dnepropetrovsk

And when his work is done

Haha, begins the fun

From Dnepropetrovsk to Petropavlovsk

By way of Iliysk and over Novorossiysk

To Alexandrovsk to Akmolinsk

To Tomsk to Omsk

To Pinsk to Minsk

To me the news will run

Yes, to me the news will run

[Verse 3]

And then I write by morning, night

And afternoon, and pretty soon

My name in Dnepropetrovsk is cursed

When he finds out I published first

[Chorus]

And who made me a big success

And brought me wealth and fame?

Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name

Oy, Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachev—

[Interlude]

I am never forget the day my first book is published

Every chapter I stole from somewhere else

Index I copy from old Vladivostok telephone directory

This book was sensational!

Pravda—well, Pravda—Pravda said:

"Zhil byl korol' kogda-to, Pri nem blokha zhila", it stinks

But Izvestia! Izvestia said:

"Ya idu kuda sam tsar' idet peshkom", it stinks

Metro-Goldwyn-Moskva buys the movie rights for six million rubles

Changing title to 'The Eternal Triangle'

With Ingrid Bergman playing part of hypotenuse

[Chorus]

And who deserves the credit?

And who deserves the blame?

Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name

Oy