[Verse 1: Montaigne]

The date started off so well

Begin my night not expecting the fright of my life (Ah!)

He was perfect from what I could tell

How could I not see the danger right in front of me?

[Pre-Chorus: Tom Cardy & Montaigne, Both]

My favorite food is fish (Woah)

Baby, that's my favorite too

I love cartoon dogs

Baby, I love Scooby Doo

Hey boy, what's your favorite film?

He said, "the best movie of all

A masterpiece of art called"

[Chorus: Tom Cardy & Montaigne]

Human Centipede

Human Centipede

I think that I'm gonna get murdered tonight

Human Centipede

Not ironically

He said, "The costume design was a highlight"

I like it for the plot

Tell me what the plot's about

German doctor sews three people arse to mouth. Cool...

Human Centipede

Please, God, save me

I think that's a red flag, I don't want to get stabbed

[Verse 2: Tom Cardy & Montaigne]

He said, "Human Centipede is a tour de force"

I think, "Holy shit, I'm gonna be the main course"

He said, "I admire the narrative of character growth"

I try to get the waiter's attention by blinking in morse code

[Verse 3: Tom Cardy & Montaigne]

Why are you blinking so much?

I've got something in my eye

Here, let me get it out

No thank you, I don't wanna die

Bonjour, ma'am was blinking at us

Is this because your date is a freak?

"No." Very good, bon appétit

[Bridge: Tom Cardy & Montaigne]

Stop hiding behind your silly made-up red flag

To not take a chance on the best relationship you never had

Maybe you're right and I'm looking for excuses

My heart's got bruises, but I'm ready to choose this love

[Pre-Chorus: Tom Cardy & Montaigne]

You could be my world, the love of my life

One day we'll get married and be husband and wife

With a tasteful ceremony, and the wedding of our dreams

Only if the wedding is themed

Tell me what the theme's gonna be!

[Chorus: Tom Cardy & Montaigne]

Human Centipede

Human Centipede

That way we can save on the catering bill

Human Centipede

Only one mouth to feed

If you are the maid of honour, you know the deal (Ass)

[Post-Chorus: Tom Cardy & Montaigne]

I can finally open myself up to love

And I can finally sew a mouth to a butt

[Outro: Montaigne]

Human Centipede