Red Flags - Intellectual

[Verse 1: Tom Cardy]

The date started off so well

Begin my night not expecting the fright of my life

She was perfect from what I could tell

How could I not see the danger right in front of me?

[Pre-Chorus: Montaigne & Tom Cardy]

My favorite food is fish

Baby, that's my favorite too

I love cartoon dogs

Baby, I love Scooby Doo

Hey girl, what's your favorite film?

She said, the best movie of all

A masterpiece of art called

[Chorus: Montaigne & Tom Cardy]

Human Centipede

I think that I'm gonna get murdered tonight

Human Centipede

Not ironically

She said, "The costume design was a highlight"

I like it for the plot

Tell me what the plot's about

German doctor sews three people

Ass to mouth

Cool!

Human Centipede

Please, God, save me

I think that's a red flag

I don't want to get stabbed

[Verse 2: Montaigne & Tom Cardy]

She said, "Human Centipede is a tour de force"

I think, "Holy shit I'm gonna be the main course"

She said, "I admire the narrative of character growth"

I try to get the waiter's attention by blinking in morse code

[Verse 3: Montaigne & Tom Cardy]

Why are you blinking so much?

I've got something in my eye

Here, let me get it out

No thank you, I don't wanna die

Bonjour, sir was blinking at me

Is this because your date is a freak?

Very good then, bon appétit

[Bridge: Montaigne & Tom Cardy]

Stop hiding behind your silly made-up red flag

To not take a chance on the best relationship you never had

Maybe you're right and I'm looking for excuses

My heart's got bruises but I'm ready to choose this love

[Pre-Chorus: Montaigne & Tom Cardy]

You could be my world, the love of my life

One day we'll get married and be husband and wife

With a tasteful ceremony, and the wedding of our dreams

Only if the wedding is themed

Tell me what the theme's gonna be!

[Chorus: Montaigne & Tom Cardy]

Human Centipede

That way we could save on the catering bill

Human Centipede

Only one mouth to feed

If you are the best man

You know the deal (Pucker up)

[Post-Chorus: Montaigne & Tom Cardy]

I can finally open myself up to love

I can finally sew a mouth to a butt

[Outro: Montaigne & Tom Cardy]

Human Centipede