I got combat training from overseas

Now I'm the bouncer at the Chuck E. Cheese

I think I'd rather do a year in jail

Than another afternoon in Chuck E. Cheese hell

Chuck E. Cheese hell

I'm in Chuck E. Cheese hell

We cater to a snot-nosed clientele

In Chuck E. Cheese hell

Momma drives Chipper to the Chucky Mall

Watches him wallow in some plastic balls

The band sucks, and the pizza's cold

And you eat it with a slobbering four year old

In Chuck E. Cheese hell

Puke with pepperoni still smells the same

You wastе a paycheck on a videogame

Linеd up out the door like the Stones are in town

Ain't enough Chucky-ass whoopins' to go 'round

In Chuck E. Cheese hell

I'm in Chuck E. Cheese hell

Squalling young-uns and a ski ball bell

In Chuck E. Cheese hell

I did two tours of duty in Vietnam

Fighting jungle rot and breathing napalm

But they couldn't torture me, half as well

As little birthday

[BLEEP]

in Chuck E. Cheese hell

Chuck E. Cheese hell

I'm in Chuck E. Cheese hell

Ohh-ooh-oh

And if you haven't taken your child to Chuck E. Cheese

You suck as a parent