Countdown thrills me to bits

With its hundreds of letters - well, twenty-six

But the best thing about this word-based show

Are the variety of people you meet in this studio

First there's the audience

They sit miles away with their pads on their laps

A mixture of friendly grannies and some scary-looking chaps

Then there's the contestants

They're highly intelligent and occasionally odd

They never say short words, like "Well, I've got COD"

Then there's Susie

She stresses the importance of the root of a word

Like why lemon jam is called lemon curd

Then there's Rachel

Without any doubt she's a mathematical hero

Say "71 times 0" and she'll say zero

Then there's Jeff

End of anecdote!