It happens nearly every night

I walk circles to find my feet and challenge expectations made of me

It's all brown and red and white and green

Those memories in the head replayed explode in colors perfectly

I come home when I feel ready

Throw my sweatshirt on the back of the chair

And sit until the breathing comes in shallow and slow

I make circles with the stars

Cause sitting seems so senseless it's the sitting

That makes me stagnant it makes me sick

I won't apologize for all my lives

And I expect no one to stand by them

Don't ask what I do I'll say no more than you

But not as much as I want and far more than I can prove

Dawns best spent on mainlines

Paralleling rivers strong with breeze I can't catch but I retain

Are transitions made with ease for you

When you wake up and don't know where you are

Can you laugh and take the moment as your own

Why keep trying to belong

Why make commitments with people who tomorrow won't remember your name

Or your face or all you are

I always rise up with the dawn

Cause morning means I've beat death and I'll kill the day alone

Or with those I love and that's all

I won't apologize for all my lives

And I expect no one to stand by them

Don't ask what I do I'll say no more than you

Not as much as I want and far more than I can prove

Do you remember mistakes made

Do you really feel joy and pain or are you content now to simply sit there numb

I know I can't stop the ticking

But I won't let time defeat me or take my ambitions or goals

Or rob me of all my wants and all I've done

All dressed as what you hate

Just waiting around to wait wondering exactly

What is meant or why it is too much bare

Fuck that challenge what you've made

Leave nothing undone or unsaid beat the day remember your death

I won't apologize for all my lives

And I expect no one to stand by them

Don't ask what I do I'll say no more than you

Not as much as I want and far more than I can prove