Ay

Artificial antidote, put me down to sleep

And upon my waking up

I pray that I'm no longer me

Because it's getting kind of hard

Living inside the very skin

That I'm designing with the utmost care

To shelter scars within

Extroverted introvert

With shivers from my toes

Up to my head and out my mouth

Disguise anxiety in poems

My lungs are fucking tired

From the fighting with my sins

So I'll just feed them what they need

To open up and take me in

I let them win

I let the FOMO underpin

All the anger I empower when I'm lost inside my head

And lay my chin up on my pillow

Bleeding eyes from faded screens

Got my fingers running sprints

To print the body of my screams

And what it means to me

Is more than tired words

It's a calculated clearing of what one near has heard

It's an exodus of dopamine

A capture of a moment

Where emotion takes a hold

And tries to salvage what is broken

There's a hopelessness inside of every creature that is certain

Drives our every move to beat a part of us that's hurting

An emptiness that somehow weighs too much for us to bear

So we tell ourselves, it's better burning matter into air

But I don't want to leave

I just want to stop feeling so sick

Every time I see the sunlight

Like an existential trick

So I been dumping what I got inside 280, fave, retweet

Shut the blinds, flip my shit to airplane mode

Go back to sleep