Chap puts a pair of lips on his trousers

Says I, "ye have an arse like a pair of crisps."

Oh you think you're a big man do ya?

You look like a bean an tí to me

Chap drops trow’ and says "I don't think so"

Says I, "who wears briefs at the age of 29?"

Oh you think you're a big man do ya?

You look like a bean an tí to me

Chap gets pissed and tries to flip the bird

Says I, "that’s the wrong fuckin' finger you're holding up, ye silly old spunker."

Oh you think you're a big man do ya?

You look like a bean an tí to me

Chap says "get off your bleedin' high horse"

Says I, "I will when the horse stops laughin'"

Oh you're a big man are ya?

You look like a bean an tí to me

Chap says "what is it about you

That makes you so special?"

Says I, "for one, I don't smell like

A pair of knick-knicks after electric picnic."

"Fuck this," he says, "I’m off."

Says I

Oh sit down, sit down - don’t give me that frown -

Pull up a pew cause you'll catch your death in that dew

Oh sit down, sit down - don’t give me that frown -

Pull up a pew cause you'll catch your death in that dew

You big, dirty-rotten

Fantastic, sexy

Lousy, Good-for-nothing

[?] bumsqueak

You rotten piece of shite

You look like you took a forty-five

To the nostril

Bleedin' Tayto arse on ya

Two short and curlies for eyelashes

Your eyebrows look like Freddy Mercury's [?]

After a chicken-can-soup

I’ve seen better hairdos on a tennis ball

You smell like a wheel burning

On a wrestler's jock-strap

Have some cigarette butts cuttin' the t-shirt off ya

You'd give Rachel Green a run for her money

Oh sit down, sit down - don't give me that frown -

Pull up a pew cause you'll catch your death in that dew

Oh sit down, sit down - don't give me that frown -

Pull up a pew cause you'll catch your death in that dew

You big, dirty-rotten

Fantastic, sexy

Lousy, Good-for-nothing

[?] bumsqueak

You big, dirty-rotten

Fantastic, sexy

Lousy, Good-for-nothing

[?] bumsqueak

You big, dirty-rotten

Fantastic, sexy

Lousy, Good-for-nothing

[?] bumsqueak

You big, dirty-rotten

Fantastic, sexy

Lousy, Good-for-nothing

[?] bumsqueak

You big, dirty-rotten

Fantastic, sexy

Lousy, Good-for-nothing

[?] bumsqueak

You big, dirty-rotten

Fantastic, sexy

Lousy, Good-for-nothing

[?] bumsqueak