Let's take a hike, spend the night at old Camp Wood

That place is almost hell, they say we'll get stalked and slashed just like its 1980

We've got cold beer, and plenty to go round

We'll tell ghost stories, get scared to death

Go skinny dipping, have robot sex - LETS GO!

We'll it's a beautiful day for some girl on girl

Put on your Renfields shirt and have yourself a thrill

Chainsaws, sheers, tiki torches, death by 69

When they hear about the legend they always laugh

What kind of psycho runs around in a pigskin mask?

It doesn’t matter cause they’re never gonna make it back across the Mason-Dixon line

The chitlin pit of hell is overflowin’’

I can almost taste the grease

If only I had known I’d wind up hacked up, slaughtered, mangled, and deceased

In 3D!

These country roads have led me to my final resting place

I should have caught the punk rock show and saw the Tom McGees

They’ll find me in a pile of blood and gore

Porkchop, West Virginia backwoods horror!

It’s a father-daughter weekend and everyone’s invited

Even Richie’s getting hammered cause he’s just so damn excited!

When a redneck mongoloid finds you cornered in a shack

And you find out meat is murder when the bacon bites you back

If you go into the woods better stay of his land

Or you’re likely to get carved up like a lovely Sunday ham

It’s the southern hospitality that’s bound to make you squeal

When a juicy summer sausage is the last thing that you feel

The family that squeals together, kills together, you’ll be face down in a trough

When meal time rolls around you better run away, or you’ll be human slop

You just got porkchopped!

These country roads have lead me to my final resting place

I should have hit the Empty Glass and had myself a drink

They’ll find me in a pool of blood and gore

Porkchop, West Virginia backwoods horror!