Well, I fed your dog while you were on vacation

Covered all your shifts for your operation

But when you got back

You still wouldn't show me your brand new silicone boobs

So I took a walk around my neighborhood

To get you off of my mind like I knew that I ought to

But when I saw a big black van

Run down a bird I had to think about you

But no I'm not a quarterback

I'm not a fireman

Still I can have any girl in Japan

Cause I'm a healthy, hundred and fifty nine pound American boy...

Yeah you tell a story like a broken record and

You tell a story like a broken record and

I tell a story like a broken record but

Still I ain't jealous of the fellas like you, like anyway

So you took another guy on that Caribbean cruise

While I stayed home and cried into my bottle of pills but

When you got back

You didn't even have yourself a tan cause you stayed in your room

So I fed your dog while you were out of town and

I mowed your lawn when he wasn't around but

When you got back

You had the nerve to ask me if I had gone through some your clothes

(Yeah right)

No I'm not a quarterback

I'm not a fireman

Still I can have any girl in Japan

Cause I'm a healthy, hundred and fifty nine pound American boy...

Yeah you tell a story like a broken record and

You tell a story like a broken record and

I tell a story like a broken record but

Still I ain't jealous of the fellas like you, like anyway

No I'm not a quarterback

I'm not a fireman

Still I can have any girl in Japan

Cause I'm a healthy, hundred and fifty nine pound American boy...

Yeah you tell a story like a broken record and

I tell a story like a broken record and

We tell a story like a broken record but

Still I ain't jealous of the fellas like you like

You tell a story like a broken record and

I tell a story like a broken record and

I like stories like a broken record but

Still I ain't jealous of the fellas like you, like anyway