[Verse 1: Andy Samberg]

I don't know why, but today seems like it's gonna be a great day

There's something in the air that makes me feel like thing are gonna go my way

The birds are chirping "tweet-aly deet", the sun is shining bright

There's a skip in my step, a pep in my pep, and I don't know why

[Interlude 1: Andy Samberg & Bobby Moynihan]

Hey there, mailman Fred, any letters from my ex-wife or the kids?

No

Fantastic news! Hahahahaha

[Verse 2: Andy Samberg]

Wonderful day makes me feel so happy that my face is numb

My heart is racing along, "ba-ra-pa-papapa-pahm"

So many people and places to meet, now that I lost my job

They say, "Young man, the world's your oyster–"

[Interlude 2: Andy Samberg]

Hey! Hey! Get the fuck off me! No! Fuck no!

Just give me a second (*snorting*)

[Verse 3: Andy Samberg]

I don't know why, but today seems like it's gonna be a great day

La la la, blah blah blah I should spend more time with my kids

It's carpe diem, gotta seize the day

Gonna move to Spain and run with the bulls

And my wife and boss and kids and parents will say

"We were wrong about you, Dennis."

[Interlude 3: Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone]

Hey, Dennis!

That's my name

Are you really gonna run with the bulls?

Why would I do that?

Because you said you were gonna

Come on man, that was like three days ago

Or was it?

[Verse 4: Andy Samberg]

Something today makes me feel fine and fancy-free

Much of the ocean is still unexplored, how did I get up in this tree?

Now I'm over here, now I'm over there

Now I'm under this dude, now I'm back in this tree

Now I'm hanging out backstage

With my very best friends, Alec Baldwin and Tom Petty

[Interlude 4: Andy Samberg, Alec Baldwin, Tom Petty]

Get the fuck out of here

What?

Now

Tom?

[Bridge: Andy Samberg]

Why would they diss me? I thought they were my homies!

(*snorting*)

[Verse 5: Andy Samberg]

Any problem is solvable

We can feed the hungry and cure disease

But all of that would be a huge waste of time

Because we live in the Matrix

[Outro Skit: Nasim Pedrad & Bill Hader]

What is wrong with him?

He's on drugs

Oh