There’s something wrong with my hands

Oh yes, they’re not holding you

They should be enfolding you like a mother’s pouch

Around a baby kangaroo

That sparkle in your eye

Shines like a shiny diamond

In a shiny diamond ring

And like a crow, don’t you know

I’m helpless around shiny things

When I got to this dance bar

At first I didn’t feel like waiting

The lineup was so long

But then I saw you and I thought “I must be hallucinating!”

But I was sober as a nun

And like a nun I prayed

That we would dance one dance together

And fall in love forever and our love would never fade

You’re quite a talented dancer -

Did you take a dancing class for that?

And I like the way your pants are the same colours

As the colours of the band around your hat

I must sound like a schoolboy

I haven’t got a thing to say

But wait, this song they’re playing is great

And it says exactly what I’ve been trying to say

When Lionel Richie wrote Hello

Was it you he was looking for?

Not the blind girl in the video

You know, the actor and the amateur sculptor

Speaking of sculpting, my heart is spinning like a pottery wheel

I feel like a ghost, I’m going crazy

Is this how I’m supposed to feel?

Like Demi and Swayze?

There’s something wrong with my hands

They should be holding you -

The way that hands were meant to do

That sparkle in your eye

Shines like a shiny diamond

In a shiny diamond ring

And like a crow, don’t you know

I’m helpless around shiny things

Your face is kind of like a planet

That hasn’t been discovered

My heart’s a space-pod that travels to your face’s planet

And it will never be recovered

My heart will roam the surface of your face

Collecting data on your lips

But I’ll cut off all communication with space stations

And my mothership

‘Cause I don’t want Earth to know about you

No, they wouldn’t understand

Just you and me here in this galaxy

Like shipwrecked sailors on a tiny sandy island

Like shipwrecked sailors deep in love

Finally free to show their feelings

Seen only by the million blinking eyes of God in the dark sky

That is their island’s ceiling

And those million eyes are shining

And I can see each one in yours

They say the eyes are little windows to the heart

Well that’s a start but I still need to find the door

Still those sparkly eyes are shining

Like a shiny diamond in a shiny diamond ring

And like a crow, don’t you know

I’m helpless around shiny things