[Intro: Suzanne Sutherland]
Ladies, and gentlemen, and non-binary folks of the class of 155: Wear Dude Ranch. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, Dude Ranch would be it. The long term benefits of Dude Ranch have been proven by Vice articles from the early 2000s, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the powеr and beauty of your nation. Never mind, you will not undеrstand the power and beauty of your nation until they’ve faded, but trust me. In another 161 episodes you’ll look back at all the memes and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous Sam really looked with a man bun. You are not as punk as you imagine. Don't worry about the future, or worry and know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by asking Nate Ruess for help. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind. The kind that blindside you while you’re skateboarding all alone at night through the streets of Montreal. Do one thing every day that scares you. Sing. Don’t be reckless with other people’s pods. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss. Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re celebrated in Canadian media journalism, sometimes you're not. The race is long, and in the end it’s only with The Ringer. Remember the good sclusies, FORGET THE BAD ONES. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old fan accounts, throw away your archives, but trust me on the Dude Ranch
[Commie Rae Jepsen]
Hello?
This is Blink-155
You're now listening to Blink-155
Here’s the ad libs you requested
Uh! Ah! Yeah. Mmm-Hmm Uh. Uh. uhhhh Yeah. Hee Yeaah! (155) Woo Ha!
[Verse 1: Josiah]
I can’t believe i have to actually write a fuckin rap verse. (Uh)
The Chains said it best, “how many likes is my life worth?” (What?)
Travis killed the beat, Famous Stars sticker on the hearse, (Yeah)
And if you think this song is bad, my friends it gets a lot worse
We’re all in on fallen, we fall in, we’ve all been
No small things just fall things, it’s autumn, we’re fallin’. (Alright)
More giggles than Fallon. All giggles, no talent
Not cancelled but called in, we’ve all sinned, we’re fallen. (155)
[Verse 2: S. Reidy]
S. Reidy, Blink-155 nation (Blink-155)
Josiah, Sam yo I see you. Yeah
Crowds scatter, planes crashin’ when the storm hits
Dark matter’s just a cymbal that we all miss
Trace back to the line count all your steps
Place bets on your legs ‘cause you rub necks
It gets dark when you’re hidin’ from the sunshine
Creep to the bone, draw a sword at the same time
Knowin’ they about to miss me like a Tom song
Gettin’ risky like Josiah with the long johns
Yeah I’m a beast and I'm feeling ya, I’ma take it there
When I see you I'ma beat you just like a ring snare
I can take you to the places you never saw
But beating me’s impossible like gettin’ Tom on the pod. (1-5-5)
[Verse 3: Trokie]
Yo, Arizona nation recording live
This one’s for Normy 155
He’s from Tucson where i was raised
So we both know Scrappy’s was the place
That any kid could see The Format play
And fuck 21, this is all ages
Smash cut, high school graduating
Singing, “give it up” as I cross the stages
Pick me up, I'm fallen
Arizona DIY is callin’
Pop punk kings of Peoria, AZ
But Tucson’s king is surely Normy
I think his accent’s kind of suss
But yo, in the nation he's one of us!
First time, long time, the name is Trokie
Shout out to Nate and Sam and JoZ
[Verse 4: Alex Lemoine]
Say a prayer for our pet Sally
You’ve got fans all over from the Arizona valley
To Australia
I won't regale ya
With every other area
It's RIP Sally mania
Just like Sally, the pod’s almost over
Won't be no reboot no spots to take over
Let the naysh have some fun. 155 is done
Say it back everyone, “long live Blink-161.”
[Verse 5: Rhi Rhi Carter]
Rhi Rhi Carter here to cause a ruckus
Gonna bring the crew together like the communist caucus
Sam and J scoochie boochie got a wet ass coochie
Droppin' rhymes on the beat like I'm ‘bout to drop a sclusie
From the vineyard, go hard
Langley, Abbotsford
Backyard drummers, viking eyes, I'm a wizard
Snitch tag tattler, junior battler
Naysh on the posse cut, now I’m outta here
[Verse 6: @Parody155pod]
Shirtless on the mic like I'm Bill Billingsley
Ya feel me? I’m feelin' this Ain't been around, you missing me?
Boo-hoo. I miss you, miss you
Little parody, but who knew, who knew
Weed stink like poo poo pee pee?
Screamin’, “R.I.P. Sally!” every day, B
Straight shittin’ long johns on the daily
Nightcore versions never fail me. (155)
She call me Dan Reynolds. She imagine my dragon
Tweets flaggin’. Dickies saggin’. Bevie crackin’ Normy’s lackin’
Hinder backin’. Leo Dehoe can get a smackin’
155 parody I ain't no joke you can catch a vape smoke
Now your edge broke
Then she spoke my name and I knew she was faithful
Damn shawty got them lips of an angel
Took off her jacket then she dropped my pants
Kung fu grip, jackin’ me for my dude ranch
La musica de 1-5-5
[Verse 7: 182bysummer]
Don't know how to rap reading lyrics on a sheet
All i got is this Blink type beat
Back to school with Mr. Drew, sir
Wake up to fun. Call that Nate Ruess-ter
I love this naysh. I’m edge, no sin
Throw Gs in the chat. Throw Tonks in the bin
Another one
[Verse 8: lawbster31]
Fallen, fallen down but you pick me pick me up
If I'm fallen then I'm all in but I'm all in so all's well
All's well that ends well but it's all hell so Globe Hell
Warning: not that "posse" shit
This that World Wide Fallen Interlude
[Verse 9: Geologist of the Pod]
Hiding in the basement sleeping on the pavement
Dope picks, no tricks, on Insta I’m a player
But no, they just want me for my body
It ain't easy being geologist of the pod
[Verse 10: Gabe Sluis, Sick Jacken(Both)]
A cup of butter, a cup of white sugar, a cup of brown sugar, 2 large eggs, a couple of spoons of vanilla, and one of baking soda. Two teaspoons of hot water. Half a teaspoon of salt. Three cups of flour. Two cups of chocolate chips and maybe one of walnuts
The directions are next
Preheat to 350. Bake about 10 minutes, or until the edges are nicely browned
Down, down, down
Pick me up I'm falling
Down, down, down
Pick me up I'm falling. (1-5-5)
Down, down, down
Pick me up I'm falling
[Verse 11: David Haddad]
Rap’s all about talking your shit up in a song
So for the record, I got cheddar and you know my schlong’s Delonge
No wait, I can do better, yeah you know my dongs so long
Fuck, ah shit whatever, i’ll just listen to the pod
I got 155 problems but a Twitch ain't one
I got 155 reasons why that dude ranch cum, son
I got that flow like a river run
Wendy Clear sails on with that forbidden love
No foolin, I been poolin, 68ing, shooting rope
Rest in Peace Sally, she got angel wings, or maybe lips, I hope
You know, this track ain't seeker sensitive
More explosive than laxative
Dysentery Gary gives
Josiah flash back ass splash drips
Oh, look at me go
Shittin’ hot fire, diarrhetic flow
Move over Pagemen, I’m coming for ya, so
I’m blowing smoke up to the stars and getting higher than em, bro
[Verse 12: poliscialex]
I wake up in the morning, already on bone. (I’m on bone)
I’m scissoring politely, a fact that’s well known
The science that I politic, you might not like
Can't say I'm still with her, so fuck you Fat Mike. (R.I.P.)
These bars that I'm spittin’ ain't ever gonna stop
My rappin’ game like Baby Yoda gettin’ that top
Put chicken wings on bone, and dip ‘em in some honey
Then they drip, drip, drip just like me, I’m so money
My dealing with the pod has been a broad spectrum
From my Boxing Day cover to my prolapsed rectum!
But the pod’s end is nigh, I gotta give respect
And since I am from Utah, I’ll add a flippin’ heck
So lets drop this posse cut, it’s lowkey litty
Then I’ll pet Josiah’s Woody. Relax, I mean his kitty (meow)
[Verse 13: Ivo Ouden]
Uh. Yeah. OK
Rap’s not crap, but I’m crap at it
But i wanna make the posse cut so i don't give a shit
And the Dutch naysh gotta represent so here i am
And i shout out to my friends; also to my man Bill Billingsley
You’re a legend man, stay rad and stay free
Also shout out to the naysh and Blink-155
I’m so happy and glad to have you in my life
Bye
[Mark Hoppus]
Ohhh. Wait, what was 155 before?
[Verse 14: Shoes Robinson]
What up Shoes?
Lace ‘em up, lace ‘em up, lace ‘em up
My Nikes tied tightly, I’m likely righteous as fuck
Scuff your Doc Martens, your Crocs, moccasin, Chucks
So hot I run the whole damn game in a pair of Uggs
And, Uh, that’s ugly, yeah you can’t fuck wit’ me
Nah, I’m Shoes Robinson uh, and this a robbery. Yeah
So run the jewelry, gold tooth and Tunies please
Your ends are hindered by the Hinder cover MVP
This beat is corny like a BM
Shoes is moving like Cena, you can’t see him
A laundry list of list of reasons all the people wanna be him
A longer list of men and women slidin’ in my DMs
Yeah, battin’ .500 for both teams
Gonna need 3 hands so I can hold rings
I’m the champ, Kyle Lowry runnin’ pick and roll
Came through in my Umbro just to kick it shoutin’ “GOOOOOOOAL!” (ha ha.)
[Verse 15: Polar Popz]
Polar Popz poppin’ off on this track
Pod punk representing from Halifax
I’m a shoe-gaze queen, I’m a Waifu meme
And yeah, I’ll see you in your wet dreams
Hit the bong, smoke a J, vapor with some concentrate
Just gotta keep the high it's the only way
Once was a Tom girl, and now I'm all about Mark
But Scott on the drums makes my heart really spark
Been a pop punker since day one
Green Day, Blink, Good Charlotte and Sum 41
Sparkle like a soda and I’m sweet to the taste
But when this pop goes flat, you better be braced
[Josiah]
Ooh baby wants the pud pud
[nate-155]
Nate 155
[Josiah]
Ooh baby wants the pud pud
[Verse 16: nate-155]
If you're coming for Nate then you're coming for me
Got me hotter than boiling water, its 161 degrees
Celsius. Your jealousy is amazing
I promise all this money from Patreon doesn’t change me
Got all the smoke for you pod mass, I’m cig Mark
Too busy talking ‘bout dog ass and Joan of Arc
Fuck rules, fuck books, I’m not playing the part
Can’t read your context clues just like I’m David Parke
I’m feelin’ gaudy today like I’m rocking gold chains
“Thank god for punk rock” tatted and I got a lip ring
It’s me and Billy B. riding caddies by STT
‘Cause the logo looks backward
When you stare right through the window pane
Talkin’ to JoZ about funko collections
When I'm with Sam it's goodie like grocery store perfection
Indie 88 ‘bout to teach them boys a lesson
Don't be comin’ for the pod, the whole gang is chin checkin’
[Verse 17: contextclues155]
Context clues in the mutha fuckin’ house
With a dick pill for the mutha fuckin’ mouth
R.I.P. Sally, let me be your peggy sue
Sammy and Josiah are two stand up dudes
And I’m down, down, down, to wear some long johns on a jog
Posse cut verse got my mind all in a fog
Free punk lyrics and I just don’t give a fuck
68 a lamp, and with a genie and some luck
Tom Delonge will come join us on the pod
We’ll treat him like a king, no cap and on God
[Verse 18: Fiona Schick]
It's just one of those days
Where you don't wanna wake up
Everything is fucked
Everybody sucks
You don't really know why
But you wanna justify
Rippin' someone's head off
No human contact
And if you interact
Your life is on contract
Your best bet is to stay away, motherfucker!
It's just one of those days
Blink-155
Just Drew Show
Saturday Streamers
Globe Hell Warning
[Verse 19: b155aus]
Ok cunts, it’s B155 AUS here with a PSA about spring time in Australia
I’m not taking the P-1-5-5
Watch out for the fucking SWOOPY BOYS
Black with white, wingspan like an air strike
Magpies. Black and white demon
Coming at ya where ya can't see man, women, or they
It’ll fuck up your day
Start of September, only one aim: DISMEMBER!
Fucking Pack a Cone
Stay at home (Aww, that's good weed mate)
And don't even think of disrespecting their nesting zone
SWOOPY BOYS, SWOOPY BOYS
Protect ya neck from them SWOOPY BOYS
SWOOPY BOYS, SWOOPY BOYS
Protect ya neck from them SWOOPY BOYS
A flat fish took out Steve Irwin. (Rest in Peace, king)
A pup ate a baby. (Dingo ate my baby!)
Like every other animal in Australia these birds do not give a FUCK about you or me
(Dog cunts!)
[Chorus]
Down, down, down
Pick me up, I'm falling
[Commie Rae Jepsen]
Another one
[Verse 20: RT155]
Gotta punker on the mic
That shit don’t sound right
End your shit in 13 seconds, Conor Mcgregor fight
While I'm sipping on a mix of Jolly Ranchers and Sprite
“Hey man, why’d ya write a rap?” I fuckin’ did it out of spite, yeah
So hold up for a second got ya spinnin’ round like these vinyls that im pressin’
Sick inside from ‘rona got me feelin my depression
At least Sam can still go to his online Harvard lessons
Reppin blink-155, that's Sam, JoZ and Bill
Black and white together like a simple creatures pill
Retweet 1-5-5, I take it you ain’t ever heard of me
I’m gonna end this shit now. This rap is fuckin’ absurdity
[Bill Billingsley]
Sam E and JoZ
Bill Billingsley here
[Verse 21: Contributor 23]
Yo, it’s the posse cut
That means i got the guts to just drop a rup. That’s a rap with a U
A Blink no 82
I’m talking 5-5. That’s high fives to my guys and Bill Billingsley
He's still filling these Cadillacs from Travis. That’s dishwasher money
I spit on tha dummy
You're not feeling this? Then you're not feelin’ my posse
Josiah Hughes, he flows fire to
Sam Sutherland, he’s shuddering a dammits the last episode I guess
But don't get depressed
Because they'll still be friends
They’ll still keep in touch-down boy
So many Tom songs are problematic!
[Verse 22: dombarker211]
Pass the mic to your boy, Dombarker’s the handle
Lookin for a pod normy? I’m at least one example
I may not be from Tucson but I wear my hat backward
So don’t expect me to know what band you’re talking about
Now with that out the way let’s cut quick to the meat
This interlude is fuckin sick with a helluva beat
I admit some songs ring like a dishwasher rack
Call it dated dog shit, but Travis Barked on this track
Yes and joking aside, I’d be lost without you
When Sam cooked up the pod, I’m so thankful he thought to
Find Josiah a venue to park
5600 hours of his playful snark
And was gracious enough not to edit it down
Birth a nation to laugh with while driving around
That’s it, just like mom and dad, now I’m thru
Drop the mic, save, and export to d-r-u
[Verse 23: bringerofmydad]
Y’all dont even wanna fuck with 1-55
All you other dumb pop punk podcasts best be stayin’ in line
We are shining new rhymes all the way from Cheshire to Nine
Josiah and Sam climb to the stars one song at a time
Our podcast cums dude ranch while you long john yourself from fear
We woke as fuck, get your god damn weak takes the fuck outta here
Your identity politics are shit
Go consensually suck a dick you pricks! UHHHH!
[Verse 24: Will for Thrill]
Will for Thrill on the cut, and we kickin’ it raw
When I catheterize beats they suck my dick through a straw
Lyrically it’s just a fact that no one else can do it better
Yeah my rhymes are blazing hot like Texas weather in a sweater
Yo my flow is so cold they had to bundle it up
It’s like a Dairy queen blizzard when they flip the cup
Sure maybe i can’t sing a ballad quite like Nate Ruess
Or pick at a guitar like Stevie playin’ the blues
‘Stead i had to settle for the world’s greatest rapper
And and your girl callin’ me the worlds best ass clapper
It’s not enough to be the best, I’m trying to get better
If you had a top 5 list I'm U-M-B-C the upsetter
What's good for the goose is even better for the gander
Now i don’t wanna hear no slander, ‘cause you know I'm droppin’ hammers
Now we got a lot of verses so I’ll keep things short
155 against everybody we are here to save the world!
[Verse 25: Cooper Kalamat]
I've been down with the Naysh since 074
Way before Vampy Weekend was considered hardcore
Who knew what fate had in store
When the boys bagged the man, who? Scott Raynor (1-5-5)
Yeah they got Scott Raynor
I would die for this pod and all it stands for
Like Sally and Matty and Teen Prez '24
I just wish I was more punk and liked Star Wars
But the end is near, man times are weird
The void is much larger than it may appear
And what we gonna do when our Fridays are clear
Let's just pray for more songs and 3 more years
Death is the enemy, erase my memory
Death is the enemy, erase my memory
Death is the enemy, erase my memories
Get Tom on the pod, you can do it for Bill Billingsley
[Verse 26: Split Hairs]
Split Hairs here
One half free punk lyrics here we go
(1-5-5)
F-R-I-D-A-Y
That's when I listen to my favorite guys
Josiah, Sam, Nate from fun
There’s room in the naysh for everyone
Spend a lotta time talkin’ youtube clips
Makin’ mouth noises, farts, and sips
Never thought we’d make it 156
Now the pod’s almost over, but we stay together for the bits
[Verse 27: MC Laminiergerät]
Blink-155 represent in Germany
This shit goes worldwide like this virus emergency
It's your bilingual genius on the fucking mic y'all
Du weißt y'all, Tom Mark Travis, sie sind eins-a
Rappin’ in two languages
Es gibt echt nichts besseres
Ich blinzel hundertzweiundachtzig mal und ich
Denk mir you're whack as shit
Josiah und Sam haben keine Ahnung was ich texte
Doch ich schwöre, es ist das fucking beste
Oh and one more thing, fuck Leo DeHoe
Fuck your band, fuck your videos, fuck everything you stand for
You don't belong in this fanbase, c'est la vie Arrivederci
Rest in peace Sally
[Verse 28: Christian Sam from the Future]
Fast forward 12 years later
You wake up in the isogenic chamber
You ask me what year is this and who are you hurr?
I said it’s 2032 blur, I’m Christian Sam from the future
The youth pastor
Coming at cha
Josiah was right all along
So now I’m taking no more hits from the bong
Just strictly tips from the bible
I went to a dark place after the libel
Hashtag #SutherlandIsCanceled did explode
In the debris front the controversial Dammit episode
Shawn Mendes’ lawyer couldn't save me
But Jesus forgave me
I went to church and got my life right
Junior Battles covered “Heaven is a Halfpipe”
And once the pod was through
It was less Blink-182
More Sam 2:11
Ecclesians, chapter 4, verse 7
Our judgement night will all come, that's a given
I just hope the nation gets to join me and Sally in heaven
Blink-155
[Verse 29: Andrew Dine]
I was small fry new to pods I was scrolling once
Found this gem you know the rocks how
Dumpweed I was hooked like a fish from the first word
Two dorks talking Bink on tip toes around the aged slurs
The next three months zoomed woo hoo like a blur
Met Bill, said bye to Sally, cig Mark, bean tea
Free punk lyrics fuck money (Wait, what was 155?)
I caught the pack at 140, Going Away to College
All the Sclusies ate em up Patreon take my dollars
Then came the streams, I put faces to your words
The lips of all these angels spreading peace with the birds
Cash for the cause fuck you to old Chauvin
With a nation like ours I get patriotism
So here's my call to arms, 16 bars, posse cut
For better or for worse I guess this is growing up
[Verse 30: Buttermuffin161]
Mic check. 1-6-1 butermuffin here gettin it done
We got Toronto, Salt Lake, Calgary and Sac town
San Diego up to Abbotsford and back down
L.A., London, all the way to Wodonga
The nation’s huge and it keeps getting stronger
Montreal, New York, Indonesian
The bunny squad’s in your menchies all season
1, 2, 1-5-5, where’s old Bill I wanna go for a drive
Tom needs a dog and it’s gotta be trained
Get back to the Dude Ranch and off the Black Rain
Tom for real, get on the pod
It has to happen - no cap, on God
I’ll be listenin’ on bone like rod
Fuck your grass. No lawns, no sod
This goes out to the pod and its disciples
F’s in the chat, R.I.P. Fatrick Michaels
[Verse 31: Luke Irving]
First shout out goes out to my man Drew
And Kyle from All the Small Things who said, “I’ll learn you”
Bill B. drives us around in Travis’ Cadillac
While Rachel’s on board to stop our hair looking wack
Down under there's Smelly Chops, Matty, Nick, Joel and Jason
Reppin the south of the equator nation
And if you need some philosophy
Look no further than our girl Fifi
Now it’s time to have fun with our boy Nate Ruess (Ruech?)
We spend every Friday tweetin’ with The Fentooz
Of course I’m gonna mention Georgia on this track
The Geordie of the pod. Let’s have some G’S IN THE CHAT! G G’s in the chat
Shout out to the pod wives, Sara and Ashley
See the pod take over our lives
Now the time has come for me to stop spittin’ this fire
Show some love to Sam and Josiah
[Verse 32: Teen Jazz]
Well here's a little rhyme that I made for a podcast
Yeah, that’s right, I made something for a podcast
Think that's weird? Have you ever heard of Hinder?
Yeah, never mind, forget i even went there
Now what’s this pod even all about?
After 3 years, still haven't figured it out
It’s got stories of sketchy Air B&Bs
And a cautionary tale of drinking Slurpees
Dishwasher sounds and backyard dentistry
TV repairs and snakes in purgatory
Man buns and the sinner’s prayer
Lemme grab a sap sucker from the Dep downstairs
Memers and a few guests named Chris
Runescape felon and Mark Hoppus
Tim Heidecker, Dan Reynolds, and Nate Ruess
And last but not least Blink-182
[Verse 33: Matthew Ohanian]
Where are you? And I’m so sorry
Delonge you missed your chance to get in on this party (Tom Delonge’s a wanker!)
See you don’t give the nation the Mark Hoppus treatment (Tom Delonge’s a wanker!)
So sit down and shut up for once and I’ll learn you this sequence (Tom Delonge’s a wanker!)
You know you’re pathetic, your Ford Tough aesthetic
As fake as the punk cred you had after Scott left
You really can’t sing, you used to be charming
But this AVA shit is just embarrassing
This isn’t Star Wars, no you don’t have the force
You’re doing busy work for some CIA dorks
You’re a poser, you’re delusional, you’re a fuck boy you’re a jerk
I think it’s about time for the boys to file for divorce
You’ve got a lot of time to do your mistress on the side
But i guess you’re just too busy to do Blink-155
You’ve got a lot to say to your teenage girl fans
But not a single word for the Sutherland stans
You fucked with the naysh and the bonds broke for good
Break up with us once and we’re never doing neighborhoods (Tom Delonge’s a wanker!)
(Fish tracks)
(Tom Delonge’s a wanker!)
Gotta face facts, you'll never come on the pod
I guess you’re too fucking busy fucking cumming in your dog
We tried to be civil and talk Aliens Exist
But time’s run out, you fucked around, the nation’s fucking pissed
You think you can come crawling back it’s not gonna be like that
The posse will stand arm-in-arm, you’re gonna hear us spit back
“Hell na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na”
[Verse 34: Toes.exe]
Toes.e-x-e
I’m a little tiny puppy yo, yes that’s me
What’s up? Fuck! Never rapped before
Show me some respect or I’ll shit on the floor (Ohhhh!)
Rap game. Tom Delonge
Have ya talking aliens while they droppin’ bombs
Oh!
It's a 9/11 reference. Sort of
They didn't really drop bombs on 9/11
Uh they did a lot after and before though
Shit’s fucked up
La musica de 1-5-5
[Verse 35: Fuzzy Eric]
Travis Barker plays with such machismo
Siento que un problemo eso capitalismo
I’m recording a verse, ya gotta call me later
I’m as coherent as a Facebook post from Paul Schrader
I only rap on beats that sound like a select screen
If I say something offensive, feel free to correct me
I feel like I’m in the lord's song, we’re on each other’s team
I just want josiah to be happy by any means
This beat is so zesty
It’s gonna test me
Like oooo you gonna make me do somethin’
My lyrical inspiration?
Good gracious it's gotta be Joanna Newsom
Read political theory
And Then you hear me
And then you'll be enlightened
If i get invited to your show, I'm not gonna go if the bill is all white men
[Verse 36: Big Cum]
Hi my name is uh Big Cum and I’m here, I’m here uh to rap for you
Here we go
It’s Big Cum rubbin’ at ya, ya better jerk faster
When it comes to ‘bating, your mom says you’re a master
Cum shots, they just don’t miss
Stick to your body like the morning mist
If you’re kind maybe I’ll blow a little kiss
‘Cause I know you can't get enough of this
Yo, Big Cum
We got the posse cut, straight from the naysh
Coming to spread dude ranch on your face
Making a mess all over the place
Is this a jerk off? You lost the race
So my timing was a little off at a point. Um, I’m sure you can edit it, or you can keep it. I don't really care. My name is Big Cum, Have a good day
[Verse 37: The Fentoozler]
TURN MY HEADPHONES UP
I SAID TURN MY MOTHER FUCKIN’ HEADPHONES UP
TOOZLER!
2020, MADISON, WISCONSIN YOU FUCKIN’ IDIOTS
LET’S GO
SNORTING ADDERALL OFF OF INFINITE JEST
FEELIN’ HASHTAG #INFINITEBLESSED
TO BE FACE DEEP IN INFINITE BREASTS
BUT WHAT DO YOU EXPECT IT'S FENTOOZLER, BABY
YOU KNOW WHO IT BE. I JUST CAME HERE TO SPILL ALL THE TEA
BUT I SPIKED IT WITH KLONOPIN AND AMBIEN AND NOW I CAN'T RECALL 2003
SO NOW I’M STEADY SMOKIN TREES LIKE THE DAY AND NIGHT AIN’T SHIT TO ME
YOU GOTTA PROBLEM, YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME
I’M ON THE STOOP GETTING DOME FROM YOUR WIFEY
ITS BLINK-155 VERSUS GOD DAMN EVERYBODY
TOOZLER!
[Verse 38: Dustin Bromley]
Like a frugal oogle
This is Brutal Poodle
Blink one eight let’s spill the tea
When it comes to drumming Travis hits harder
When it comes to bite he’s just a barker
Mark Hoppus, OG he’s the last of us
Posi dad Tweets are set to maximum
Tom Tom Tom you been gone gone Delonge
Tom Tom Tom you been gone gone Delonge
Matt? Who? Just a sheep in Tom’s Clothes
Recharge his bank when Alkaline cash got low
Scott you’re the Motherfucking GOAT, Raynor
T-b-h You should be Travis’ trainer
Sammy, JoZ, you keep us alive
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[Verse 39: Sam Sutherland]
Here’s a little story I’ve got to tell
About a gold prospector we all know so well
It started way back in the Yukon rush
When Sam McGee from Tennessee led his dogs to mush
Shit got very cold by Christmas day
So we decided Lake Lebarge was the place to stay
Sam was feeling bad so we swore an oath
I’d cremate his remains unless death came for us both
At the same time
But it didn't! Sam died
And now i have to find a way to cremate him with pride
Then i found a boat called the Alice May
And I burned that mother fucker in that old boat grave
But wouldn't you know Sam had other plans
When i walked back in he was alive as any man
There’s that Sam lookin calm in the roar
With a smile as wide as the Alice May’s door
He said, “please close the door or you’ll let in the storms
Since I left Tennessee it’s the first I've been warm”
There are strange things done under the midnight sun
But the strangest I ever did see
Was a 3 hour podcast
About jizz and bombast
But also the cremation of Sam McGgee
[Clip from Hamilton performed by Lin-Manuel Miranda (Clip provided by Emma from @PunkGoesPod)]
I'ma get a scholarship to King's College
I prob'ly shouldn't brag, but dag, I amaze and astonish
The problem is I got a lot of brains but no polish
I gotta holler just to be heard
With every word, I drop knowledge!
I - *record scratch*
Blink-155
I'm on bone
[Outro: 2 time Grammy winner Nate Ruess and Sick Jacken]
Maybe it’s the cocaine, oh
Maybe it’s the molly, whoa
I know it’s not the xanny
But i know that she wants me
I’ve been conjuring the realm
I try to sacrifice myself
My soul ain’t up for rent because it wasn’t mine to sell, no
Down, down, down
Pick me up I’m fallen
Pick me up I’m fallen
Mmmmm
Down, down, down
Pick me up I’m fallen
Pick me up I’m fallen
Ooooo
Down, down, down
Pick me up I’m fallen
Down, down, down
Pick me up I’m fallen
Pick me up I’m, pick me up I, pick me up I’m Fallen