[Intro: Jack Black]

Ho, Ho, Ho

So many Christmas letters

So many wishes

Lucy wants a squeezy doll

Jimmy wants a moon rocket

Oh, this list's rather long...

[Sum 41's Brown Sound]

Yaaaa

Ya

[Verse 1: Jack Black]

Hey now, Santa, I'm writin' to you

'Cause there's a lotta cool shit I want

I know I've been naughty

But cut me some slack

'Cause theres a lotta cool shit I want

[Pre-Chorus 1: Jack Black]

So here's my list-a

So check it out twice-a

[Chorus: Jack Black]

I want

A solid-gold Harley with machine guns on the front

I want

A Mötley Crüe lunch box

Filled with sticky buds

[Verse 2: Jack Black]

I want a see-through jumpsuit

That fits me tight

I want all the Beatles copyrights

I wanna chop Florida off the map

I want Pamela Anderson's spit on tap!

Here ya go, Santa

That's my Christmas list

That's all the cool shit I want

But wait a minute, Santa

Here's some things I missed

There's still a lotta cool shit I want

[Pre-Chorus 1: Jack Black]

So here's my list-a

So check it out twice-a

[Chorus: Jack Black]

I want

A time machine and a BB gun

I want

A statue of Moby on the surface of the sun

I want

To party naked on a school bus full of nuns

I want

A bumper pool table

And a robot pelican

Gah!

[Verse 3: Jack Black]

There ya go, Santa

I'm sure you'll agree that

There's some really cool shit I want

I know I've been naughty

But I guarantee

That I deserve every single one

[Pre-Chorus 2: Jack Black]

So take my list-a

And check it out twice-a

I know I've been naughty

But life ain't nice-a

P.S. I still-a

Need some more shit, ya

[Chorus: Jack Black]

I want

I diamond hyena shootin' fire from his pud

I want

A cannibal chef to cook me sweet and sour butt

I want

A magical sleigh that's pulled by flying skunks

I want

All the cool shit I want!