Trying to see where I should go from here

Should I be doing this for kicks or start my own career?

Am I far away? Am I close or near

To where I want to be? Someone tell me if the coast is clear

Will I survive swimming or will I die drowning?

What do you do when your vision's blurred and your mind's clouded?

This a nice outlet, but it's all I have

So if I lose, there ain't a plan to be falling back

On, no alternative, straight ahead, no swerving shit

Lost in dreams, crossing fingers, wonder what the verdict is

I'm standing first in line, but whose turn is it?

Not mine, so why do I even work if this

Wind never blows my way? Holding weight, my shoulder blades

Are caving in, the rage within is blazing in like solar rays

But this was all I needed, and this was all I wanted

One chance, just one chance, and now I got it

And I'm not gonna waste this

Any chance I see, I'll get up and fucking take it

Any way for me to make it

Any stops, limits, walls, believe that I will break them

And I know to keep my head up

Tomorrow always follows and dark weather will let up

There isn't no "instead of"

After falling down, those willing to get up got

Dedication

And these thoughts keep me up at night

I am sick of "what if's" and "wonder why's"

I'm stuck in the past, losing fucking time

The words I never said realign themselves in lullabies

I'm fighting one to five against my regrets

1. Love, 2. Hate, 3. Rejects

4. Not retaliating when I bleed red

5. Still no fucking CD yet

No respect since day one

May of '07, first step in, got made fun

Got spit on and knocked down and beat up

My team was just my pen and my paper and me as leader

So chica, please comprende if I'm going loco

Cus this the first time in years I'm not feeling solo

And this was all I needed, and this was all I wanted

One chance, just one chance, and now I got it