Released on April 19, 2024

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[Verse 1]

Drownin' in the Blue Nile

He sent me "Downtown Lights"

I hadn't heard it in a while

My boredom's bone-deep

This cage was once just fine

Am I allowed to cry?

I dream of crackin' locks

Throwin' my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks

Crashin' into him tonight, he's a paradox

I'm seeing visions

Am I bad or mad or wise?


[Chorus]

What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind?

One slip and fallin' back into the hedge maze

Oh, what a way to die

I keep recalling things we never did

Messy top-lip kiss, how I long for our trysts

Without ever touchin' his skin

How can I be guilty as sin?


[Verse 2]

I keep these longings lockеd

In lowercase, inside a vault

Somеone told me, "There's no such thing as bad thoughts

Only your actions talk"

These fatal fantasies

Giving way to labored breath, takin' all of me

We've already done it in my head

If it's make-believe

Why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow?


[Chorus]

What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind?

One slip and fallin' back into the hedge maze

Oh, what a way to die

My bed sheets are ablaze

I've screamed his name

Buildin' up like waves crashin' over my grave

Without ever touchin' his skin

How can I be guilty as sin?


[Bridge]

What if I roll the stone away?

They're gonna crucify me anyway

What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?

If long-suffering propriety is what they want from me

They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly

I choose you and me religiously


[Chorus]

What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind?

One slip and fallin' back into the hedge maze

Oh, what a way to die

I keep recalling things we never did

Messy top-lip kiss, how I long for our trysts

Without ever touchin' his skin

How can I be guilty as sin?


[Outro]

He sent me "Downtown Lights"

I hadn't heard it in a while

Am I allowed to cry?