[Verse 1]

Hey, is it Makavelli or Machiavelli (Rest in peace!)

When’s the baby due or can I mock your belly

Never mind, just put this in your mouth, Akinyele

I’ve prepared some meat for you, pretend it’s from a deli

Love to poke you with my spokes like your ass is felly

I dive in face-first with any girl even if it’s often smelly

‘Cause we all die at the end, anyways (Boy!)

Shout out to Don Coscarelli

Health update, lost some wеight, I’m looking thinner than vermicelli

But I’m still obstinatе and prone to violence like Ashley Spinelli

Dick hard like Buns Brown, your pussy soft like belly

But even I don't really think I'm ready for Beyonce's jelly

Gotta try and make it on my own like Joe Garrelli

But I already know, for sure

I won’t achieve fame during my lifetime like Percy Shelley (Who?)

Fucking read a book for once, kid, turn off the telly

Free the prison of your mind, just get off the celly

I'm 'bout to piss off with another line like Robert Kelly

You ain't surviving every time, even if your boots are wellie

[Bridge]

I know it’s hard to hear

My music is the opposite of easy listening

I eliminate opps using my operatives

During my niece’s Christening

I’m such a prick

It’s like you can audibly hear my penis thickening

Watch out below, I’ve got some semen to throw

It must be cumming from the mezzanine

[Verse 2]

Once, I had an ounce of fetty, had to renounce, I'm petty

Used to be putty in your hands, now I'm a bouncin' Betty

The more you give to me, the more I'm Jean Paul Getty

Make money hand over fist unless your fucking palms are sweaty

I'm the cure to crime like Marion Cobretti

Loyal and short-tempered, though, like Tommy Vercetti

But still gotta stay calm and steady, armed and ready

Even if I tend to go fast like Mario Andretti

Make sweet chin music for Marty Jannetty

Celebrate with a food fight, so I throw confetti

Coiled spaghetti, try to be a nice guy like Eddie

But the worst cop on the force, Chief, it’s, of course, Manetti

Who else do I wanna fuck, fuck, fuck?

Gotta make a mental list like Amanda Righetti

Well, that’s just my luck

You don’t know who I’m talking ‘bout, okay, whatevy

Drove my Chevy to the levee but it had dried already

Unlike a girl’s poon, I keep it slick with a lick like a moistened jetty

Pussy like brigadoon, amnesiacs on my dick, just in case y’all forgetty

So call up Letty, so we can get it on while we're both on a settee

I want her taco in my mouth 'cause she's the fucking bomb, Machete

My sentences tend to run on and on

'Cause I'm both Cheech and Chong with a bong

Rolling blunts bigger than King Kong

With balls bigger than Ping Pong

But the weed's too strong

I think it was Agatha all along

Hope I'm not wrong

I haven't seen it in so long

But I'll find out for sure before my next song is ready

[Outro]

I compare myself to so many things saying I am the equivalent (Equivalent)

But all this braggadocious posturing is making me ambivalent (Ambivalent)

That's why the only songs I can seem to write are a little too virulent (Virulent)

Then again, my rogue's gallery could fill an asylum

So I need to stay vigilant (I’m Batman!)

Don't even got time for a mic check, one, two

Sibilance, sibilance, sibilant

Got the strength of five guys, burgers and fries

So I don't need you two to be magnificent