Bingo - Intellectual

[Intro]

No matter how much ketchup you put on a blade

You still couldn't cut the mustard

Best thing you can muster up

Is to cut the cheese like a fucking buster

Yeah, this buster brought me back

Took a last stand like General Custer

Now I'm sitting down on the record

Like Brit Hume and Greta Van Susteren

[Verse 1]

This just in

All the money in the world is fake, cryptocurrency

No one’s listening currently

So I speak with no urgency

Whole world's going to seed

So I just sit back mirthlessly

Making moves furtively

So extend me the fucking courtеsy

When a super girl gives mе a flash

My dick is everwood like Greg Berlanti

I’ve been a Rebel Devil today

I was the leader of an insurgency

I'll be a legend tomorrow, people

Solving any and all emergencies

Fucking hoes very fervently

They welcome me in with great fervency

I knew her in a biblical sense

‘Cause what I write, call that inerrancy

Hi, my name is Ken D

I’m too sweet and the "D" stands for divergency

Something smells fishy, though

Quick, everyone to the conservancy

I flow right into the stream

Where the undercurrent is a period of uncertainty

Plus, I love to dual-wield

So when I see twins, I fuck both girls concurrently

Me against the world like the old Germany

Storming the beaches of Normandy

A worthless death you'll never forget

But you'll remember me, werden sie

Remember me

[Chorus]

This is my single

All I got are singles

So whether or not you’re taken

For now, you’re single

Bitch, come on, let’s mingle

I’ll wiggle around my wingle

Better shake your ass

Until I hear your vajazzle jingle

Touch your nipple tips

Until both tits tingle

‘Cause once I pop, you can’t stop

Like a can of Pringles

You’re a ho, ho, ho

That makes me Kris Kringle

Slut, note the lingo

I’m a star like Ringo

Christoph Waltz, bitch

You’re damn right that’s a bingo

That, that-that’s a bingo

That? Now, that’s a bingo

[Verse 2]

There's a good chance no one will ever hear this

That's why I spit this shit so fearless

I ain't the best but I'm in the upper tier list

Anti-social on dry land, that's how I stay so peerless

Aw, shoot, you got no balls

That makes you a near-miss

Love is a hurtin’ thing like Lou Rawls

I could attract better with deer piss

I keep it a buck, massacre down in Sioux Falls

You fuckers are dearless

This shit just got real, blue balls

‘Cause not every shampoo is tearless

So just hide from the Nazis under the floorboards

Thousand-year Reich with nothing to show for it

I know it ain’t right but fuck it, I’m so bored

Please leave a like, for fuck’s sake, Good Lord

Manipulation by gaslight ‘cause I am just so abhorrent

Must’ve been evil in a past life ‘cause this demon’s just layin’ dormant

I wanna get to know you but I swear I’ll never turn informant

Better shore up on your insurance, just to be sure

‘Cause I got a lifetime of pain and torment waitin’ for me

Don’t mean to be forlorn

Mental health is just so important

Since the day I was lowborn

Happiness to me has been so foreign

Ready to even the scoreboard

But not allowed to be ignorant

Show me the door to the floor, whore

I’ll show you the whole warrant

See, I’m hoarding a torrent of whores

So horny for more, you can’t ignore anymore

Gotta explore, when they be pouring

But I’m throwing you overboard

If I’m hearing your lady roar

Look at a land ho, onshore

I swore, this fucking lady’s soaring

Coming straight outta Mordor

I’m a Wizarding Auror

Walking the corridor

Super skilled as an orator

Gotta bond with pussy galore

For sure ‘cause they’re absorbent

Bad apple to my core

Going to war, war-torn

The Wizened Wizard Of Gore

You’re forewarned

Add it to my lore, you’re done for

I’m a senior, you’re sophomore

You’re just pissed ‘cause you’re in for it