You have been the only one I ever dream about

Even though I haven't seen you in a while

I can still remember how it felt when seeing you walk past me

In comparison to when I was the one to make you smile

But the here and now is lonesome howbeit I found some arms

That makes the pain go away, but it doesn't last long

Because they're on to the next one after we've shared a bout of sleep

Which fully illustrates the fact that they don't care about me

And It's pitiable how I'm so jealous of a mirage

When you told me what you see this as and to that I responded with

Okay, I agree because we know that is best

But my heart and mind is sequestered from my head and my chest

A text could make or break the way I'm feeling in the center

Depending on what it says and depending who was the sender

I wonder how they see me or if even remember

The tenderness I exhibited when we were together

So now I'm picking up the peddles off the flowers to see

If she loves me or not. The stem is left so that tells me a lot

It's the love or lust conundrum and it's cumbersome plot

While under the spell of some of them while others I'd watch

I keep replaying in my head that rare moment of bliss

When I fell asleep in your bed and You woke me up with a kiss

It was joyous and I felt cared for as if I existed for once

But was not at all prepared to be thrown off a cliff

This split my heart down the middle like the many times prior

But the night when this occurred it truly made me feel alive

I'd swan dive head first into the chance if it was given

Desperation makes mistakes worthwhile

Deny conditions when the problem is exerted attention to find women who are needless

I only need myself to make a difference

As the pressures of the common day continuously beat upon the mind and body, I would like a breast for me to lean on

The open ear and soothing voice is lenitive and welcome

But that's almost never present as I'm always by myself

And writing these accounts bring more light upon the darkness

And the pen that the writes the thoughts of mine really truly help

I thought I had it all within the palm of my hand

But it came along with qualms to the point I couldn't stand the

Overthinking, disappointment and reminders of the 'then'

And to top it all of those fucking issues of abandonment

I took a chance and ran with it and look where I got

Worn down with guilt feelings and a stomach in knots

There is a starting over but it's hard to accomplish

Why not? At this point that I should give it a shot