I'm not sure if it's the winter or if I'm just depressed

Because my head feels like it's swelling from the thoughts that I've repressed

And maybe I should stop the smoke from entering my chest

Because as the days grow shorter the same thing happens to my breath

As it quickens I am nervous, shaking in my bed

And I've been crumbling under thoughts

Inside my awful head

I'm falling down

I'm fading out

And the blinds across the room

Shine bright along the edges

Proving I have wasted yet another

Mid-December morning

You won't know what I am

Or know how this feels

I'm still drifting back to the way things were

But I finally took back the wheel

From the things that you said

Oh, they hurt me so

A thousand thoughts that you'll never know

I still live with this crippling doubt

Knowing that one day my teeth will eventually fall out

And I won't be able

To tell you the things

That I wanted to say

I want to know if your cat died

I want to hear your dad explain death

To your little brother

I want to be there

Or at least some place I can hear

Or at least some place I can hear